married!

so mum got married.
so whats my type of family do i have now? ULTRA nuclear extended plus plus plus?
nyaha.
she's so happy. just look at her.

she was so happy, she cried.

my nenek was happy too.

so she striked a pose.

the makciks were elated,

they came and conquered the scene.

and i tried too hard to blend in.

everyone's happy. like shaik.

like my brother.

like me.

but there's a time to get down to business.

then we got hungry.

my brother went crazy.

so did i.

WE WANT FOOD!

after all the makcik-pakcik cam whoring session,

we had a feast.

and this is my nephew, Sameer Ali - the cutest creature alive.



THE END.

mum has a new husband.

i have a new stepdad AND

a new roomie.

i got chased out of the room i used to share with her.

and grandma watches indonesian programmes on TV 24/7.

exciting.

lets just be happy for her shall we?

she insists that i stay at home. no staying over at pandan. no hostel. nothing i do will ever make me change her mind. or is there another way i havent thought of?

and my stepdad's okay lah. his frequency may be far from mine (oh, u have NO IDEA.) but he's a nice guy. so my brothers and i laugh when he jokes cuz he's a nice guy. i dint say he was funny.

lalala.

im like 96.57% recovered now. my knee's fine except for the ugly scar. :( my toenail's growing. its halfway there. doesnt look gross anymore. no pus. no bandages. im freeeee! i can walk i can run i can skip i can jump i can wear socks and shoes and dance and fly. YAY.

i've been training hard. not yet EXTRA hard but at least i know ive been improving since the accident. so after the worst 3 weeks of my life living like a pig. when all i did was eat sleep limp around laze around complain whine. when my stamina went down to negative hundred. when my muscles transformed themselves into flabs. when i gained weight. now i feel super brand new. one session everyday. has successfully reset my biological clock to be able to wake up feeling refreshed at 5am. got my tan back (hurray). slowly getting the muscles, strength, stamina and all that shit back. but the only most annoying thing in the world is my weight which never seem to shed no matter how much i train, how little i eat, how much effort i put in losing it. ergh. and its like the most important thing in the world right now cuz if i dont reach the desired weight by june i cant compete and if i cant compete i wont be able to go SEA games.

now THATS bad.

my nutritionist (oh yes, i do have one. exciting isnt it?) planned a liquid diet for me last week cuz i told her that i cant seem to lose any weight. she gave me 12 packets of this drink thats supposed to make u feel full and top up ur vitamins, minerals give u carbo and protein and all the shit lah that u can find in normal healthy food. so i followed the diet plan religiously. drink 6 packets a day spread them out throughout the day evenly. no solid food for 2 freaking days. nothing else. only the so-called miracle water and plain water. and its supposed to make me lose weight. but it didnt okay. so my effort went down the drain like that. imagine not eating solid food for 2 days. the horror i tell u.

result: unsuccessful. totally, please.

went shopping with raf the other day. OH u must go shop. the great spore sale is around the corner, actually it has arrived. TANGS is a must go. me and raf bought the same white 3/4 skirt from isalnd shop which was $189 and slashed down to $9. freaking true. she was so happy lah. she bought 2 pairs of shoes from mondo for only $15. i had no mood for shoe shopping, YET, cuz my toe's not fully recovered. and daniel yam dressed going from $30 each. SO EXCITING. but too bad im kinda penniless cuz im not freaking working like my other friends cuz I CHOOSE TO ROW. what most of them earn for a day, is what i earn for a month. and im serious.

air force medical check up soon. my compass test results did not match up to be a pilot (hoho. so expected) so they put me in WSO.

got an interview for NIE next monday. its my FIRST interview after the As. i know many of u out there have been through many and some even claim they went through an interview marathon (my god!) so be happy for me can?

and i got accepted into FASS @ NUS and the sports science course i applied for in Edith Cowen Uni in Perth. everyone said i should just get my degree in singapore. even though sports science is what i really want. aiyah. to think is so leceh.

anyhooo.

i gotta run and lose all these babbbatttts.

AISYAH. can run.

weeeee.

recovery

okay, rafidah. here's the update. are u happy now? haha. i love you loads.
so yes. aisyah's back on her feet. and soon, her toes.. hurrayyy.
there mum goes again, "kan dah boleh jalan merayap lah tu."
once a mum, always a mum. she's like pringles, cuz once she pops, she wont stop and of course i was referring to her nags. nags. nags. incessant annoying irritating noise polluting nags. but i still love her anyway. and she's getting married this saturday. and im gonna miss her. not her nags, please. and okay, i hope she's happy. she is happy as a matter of fact. new clothes, new bags, new shoes, new jewellery set. her diamond ring is like gorgeous. women- when they're happy, they shop. like, what else? seriously. im really happy for her.
but she's not happy at all to see the state of my room. okay sorry ive been invalid for like the past 3 weeks and sorry u have such a lazy bum daughter whose room looks like SHIT. okay i agree it does. but okay i'll clean it up soon. okay. OKAY. soon will be like before your wedding on the fifth and YES i'll do it. OKAY! i know im supposed to clean right after the As but sorry i was too busy back then and argh. let me just move into a hostel or something so noone will ever have to nag about how horrible my room looks like. oh, and ive learnt my lesson. never mention "university hostel" to my mum ever again. cuz once she hears that word, she'll say NO right before i finish my sentence.
and they say daughters will grow up to become just like their mums. oh no. i hope i dont nag. please, no.
okay i admit ive been out alot lately. but i dont merayap or loiter around wasting precious time. ive been going to the sports medicine & research centre at kallang for my physio and rehab sessions. sounds like ive been involved in some serious accident. and they laugh when i told them i fell riding a bicycle. my physio said, "water sports people cant cycle and shouldnt cycle." my rehab trainer said, "if u injured urself not serving the nation, get out of the gym." and (hot hot hot) dr cormac said that my toes were unique which was a subtle way of putting "deformed toes". they're nice people lah, seriously. its like a silver lining behind a cloud (is that how that saying goes? haha. something like that lah.) i realised if i havent got involved in this stupid silly accident i wouldnt have known anyone from the sports council whom actually cares for people like me. i mean seriously, even the rowing people over at the rowing centre dont give a damn about my condition and shit and these people whom ive only known for like 3 weeks want me to get back into shape fast so that im fully prepared for my race in june which is so damn important because this championship will determine whether or not i get selected in the sea games this year! and that was such a long sentence! SHIT.
talking about rowing, once they take out the stitches tomorrow, (yes. tomorrow. shudders.) im back on my feet and rowing oh rowing, running oh running, here i comeeee! hurray hurray. i just freaking hope there's no side effects like swelling feet and shit and i really hope it doesnt hurt to run cuz SHIT i miss running. and rowing, definitely. like SUPERRR. grar. WAIT, and i hope it wont hurt when they have to take out the artificial toenail tomorrow too. oh no. i hate the pain. give me rowing pain, muscle pain, cramps, bites. those i can stand. but needles, stitches, lots and lots of blood and toenail pain, i cant take it. and how come they always say that since im a rower im able to take pain. i think thats bullshit. im a human for goodness sake.
okay. looks like aisyah is back to normal. like no more moody broody aisyah. yayness.
okay. so while i was still in cacat mode, limping around, hazi, raf and azza came over to visit me and we were oogling over hot jap guys watching hanadan. thanks to hazi im like almost addicted. omg. they bought 2 pints of ben and jerry. azza bought chips and cookies over and it was like a mini pigging out day! it was so fun. and they wanted to race me to the door. and when we wanted to take pictures they were like, "lets all look like aisyah! look retarded!" whoa. thanks, friends. how nice of u guys to come over and make fun of me. i still love u guys ANYWAY.

and look all 3 of them are relief teachers and im in my pyjama tee.

random caption. but anyway. yes. then amaria and ruth treated me at seoul garden! so much for im-supposed-to-lose-weight-desperately-regime!

and surprise surprise! they are teachers too.

my current occupation? u really wanna know?

sigh.

and on my birthday, my family went out to eat at Eatzi at safra yishun which is the new halal subsidary of jack's place. ive decided that if my future husband cant afford a wedding at fullerton hotel, then maybe safra yishun will do. i tried their mixed grill which was lamb chop, chicken chop and beef, with egg and hot dog and potato with sour cream and green peas and guess the price- $18. its a must try. i love it. and i bet u'll love it too.

yummmmmy.

thats just me & syahir.

so yes. eat eat eat. thats all i did for the past 3 weeks. no training. no running. no wonder the fats. and have u seen my muscles? i bet u havent cuz they're all gone. like they totally transformed themselves into thick fat flubber. grar. depressing. but lets not think about it, shall we?

i cant wait to get back my tan either.

and marks and spencer's triple chocolate crunch cereal is back. what are u waiting for? grab $8 and run to the nearest M&S store right now. this cereal is DOPE! worth every single cent of that 8 bucks u fork out, trust me.

like, food again. whats up with food and me? and they're setting up a bazaar next to causeway point which means roti john, ramly burger and youtiao! oh no!

i just cant wait to wear my shoes again, row my ass off, run for hours and play soccer! but that also means that im back to full time training, no work, no money, no life.

if u ever hear me complain one bit about rowing, whack me will you?

a week later.

Mika - Grace Kelly

ive been attempting to do happy things lately.

like waking up late, really late, in the afternoon, so i can skip breakfast, so i get to cut down on those calories cuz usually its a must have to eat a hearty meal for breakfast. but usually i end up eating heavy lunch which is a big no-no.

like watching happy videos. russell peters never fair to crack me up. he's dope, man. and mad tv videos. oh gawd, seriously funny shit. check this one out about the iRack, a pun on Iraq:

and like listening to happy songs like grace kelly by mika, girlfriend by avril lavinge, candyman by christina aguilera and im yours by jason mraz. i know. anything to make me happy, baby. and i'll watch their music videos over and over again. for that, i love you tube. and the guy in avril's girlfriend video is super cute. oh shit, do u miss aisyah saying that? cuz i sure do miss myself saying that. sigh.

like writing silly poems and songs and raps for random people, random things, random stuffs. scribble on my book, the paper. and reading them to random people like syahir just to annoy him or shaik.

like laughing at funny shit pictures like this:

this is supposedly the trend of the heart-shaped afro hair.

and this:

lady in tudung on the packaging of a shampoo.

and taking pictures of my injured leg:

and the scar on my face:

just for the heck of it.

cuz i got so much time to kill.

and THATS killing me.

now my leg will swell when i walk. like on sat i went to my cousin's wedding. i was wearing baju kurung and walking with crutches. dont try to picture it. my leg was a-okay in the morning. i started walking around alot to salam my relatives. i had to repeat my story over and over. everyone couldnt believe i was involved in a cycling accident. it was like a humiliation to fall and injure myself this bad while cycling. my cousin was convinced that i was involved in a motorcycle accident, another one thought i was involved in a fight and my uncle thought i injured myself while playing soccer. haah. and walking around made my leg swell up so bad, so damn bad it hurts so much, i had to go home.

oh look, the wedding venue was gorgeous btw. one of the few nicer void deck wedding decos ive seen so far:

and this was the meal zak and sha cooked for me the other day. thought i might share it with u guys:

yup. so thats it i guess. things i do to make myself happy. next week, im going on to more productive things. cuz i have done lots of thinking (hoho. yes LOTS) and i realised im just wasting time if i dont find anything productive to do. and i cant sit down or lie down doing nothing cuz i'll end up crying, i swear. happened loads of times.

any suggestions?

and they say this is a test from God. so i shall accept it with open arms.

after the fall

last sunday was like this ultimate turning point in my life.
since the fall, ive been brooding at home, waking up in the afternoons, having breakfast at 12pm, sleeping when there's nothing else to do,
and there is nothing else to do,
so all i do is sleep,
eat,
stare,
sit,
shift,
sleep,
eat,
and the cycle repeats itself.
like the life cycle of a depressed and dying creature.
the greatest distance i covered is to walk from the bathroom from my room to the kitchen.
the most exciting thing i did was to have my dressing changed at the polyclinic.
i still cant stop thinking about it.
the slope.
the fall.
the pain.
the blood.
and shit, the 3 jabs of anaesthetic on my toe still makes me shiver.
the wounds on my knuckles, wrists, elbows and face are pretty much recovering fast. but the bruises on my thighs are still painful.
i saw my toe the other day i went to change the dressing at the polyclinic.
it was disgusting.
the artificial nail was placed on my toe where my toe is supposed to be. and there's two strands of thread around my toe to keep the nail in place. the nurse said there's no stitches on my skin. but she doesnt know what's underneath the nail. it was still bloody and shit.
it still hurts
like fark.
shahul had to say,"it looks pretty. like a manicured toenail."
i shouted in pain and got scolded by the nurse behind the curtains.
pampered child, she said.
at that moment i wanted to push her down a slope on a bicycle and make sure her toenail got ripped off.
bitch.
the wound on my knee is recovering as well.
when i left the room, people were staring at me. one lady said,"poor girl, so young."sigh.
today i went to change the dressing again. i was happy when i woke up this morning cuz i could walk faster, well, okay, just a little, but anything to make me happy, okay. today, i dont have to wait for an hour for my queue number to appear cuz i already have an appointment with the dressing nurses. and today, the nurse who scolded me the other day was the one who changed my dressing.
shit, i know.
she was damn rough la. i dont know whats her freaking problem.
like hello bitch, im in pain, can u like slow down a little and treat it nicely?
omfg. i was badly holding back my tears cuz i dint wanna get reprimanded again.
she asked, "oh were u the one who was screaming the other day?"
uhhh. she actually remembered. should i feel honoured?
the wound was so dry the gauze got stuck to it. so she had to rip off the gauze and shit lah, it was just freaking painful.
"i know its painful," she said.
...
i saw my toenail up close today.
i almost vomitted i swear.
it looks so bad, the nurse thought i was involved in a motorcycle accident. sheesh.
one look at my toe and i know it will take weeks to recover and till then, no rowing. right there and then, all i wanted to do was to curl up in my bed and cry.
the flesh right next to the nail was like flat, u know u're supposed to have this ridge where the sides of ur nail comes in contact with ur skin? well, mine is flat which means the flesh there is gone.
"it will grow back...soon," shahul happily commented.
recovering is one thing, waiting for the farking toenail and flesh to grow back is another. i cant wait anymore.
i cant. :'(
when she exposed my toe, it just hurts like hell lah.
i simply couldnt describe the pain.
and the wound on my knee still hurts like farrrk. its still bleeding. still red and raw. there were loose strands of the gauze on the wound and she happily picked it out with the pair of plastic tongs.
i was just praying it would be over soon.
and i was walking even slower when i came.
so much for the improvement in the morning.

coach called me yesterday.
rowing.
its all i think about since i fell. ive been training like SHIT since january. earning only a few hundred dollars every month from the camps ive done. while my friends can earn at least a thousand or almost a thousand every month. other than that, im still surviving on my mummy's wallet. and my paycheque always goes to handphone bills.
sacrifice.
u have to make sacrifices to become a successful national athlete.
sacrificing work to train full time.
setting myself personal goals and targets to improve everyday. to be able to work my ass off into the sea games. i was already settling in comfortably in that phase where i was willing to do whatever it takes to row and produce results.
and just as i was celebrating my success of losing my tummy fats,
it happened.
how can i not think about it?
waking up 5am everyday, 15 rounds around the stadium every evening. weights lifting of 200 reps. just when coach complimented on my improvement during my water time trial,
it happened.
i was at that stage of an athlete's life when everything was smooth sailing. how can i seriously not feel like SHIT?
YOU TELL ME.
and now i sit at home, sleep and eat.
whine, cry.
my whole life totally changed.
okay, im pessimistic, they say.
what else have u got to say?
is that the best u can do?
its not as easy as you think.
trying to make so many people happy, when u yourself are not happy.
life's a bitch.
okay, so i shouldnt think about the past, look towards the future.
ahh, i see myself starving to lose weight cuz if i dont freaking reach the lightweight target by may i freaking cant get selected into the sea games and id rather freaking die.
and months of training, all that stamina and strength and what shit, all back to square one.
amazing how one stupid day, one stupid mistake, can totally change your life.
im sorry im being whiny and shit.
i just cant get over the fact that im unable to do things i really wanna do and like hazi put it nicely, im invalid.
this strong feeling of utter regret.

pause.

okay, so its my fault that i went cycling and didnt tell mummy about it.
karma.
what goes around, always comes around, no matter how hard u try to hide it, stash it in the bin, burn it to ashes, throw the ashes into space, God will always find all kinds of ways to make it come around. its like death.
inevitable.
almost everyone who found out about my accident said the same thing, learn your lesson, aisyah.
taking freaking 5 mins to walk from my kitchen back to my room sure does taught me a lesson. never to take things for granted. and if it ever crossed ur mind that im being treated like a princess at home where my family members will do things for me and shit, im sorry, never happened. my mum accidently kicked my toe twice. hurrah. and i dont see whats so fun pretending that ure about to step on my toe or kick my knee. and if u ever do, oh, ure in so deep shit. and dont try to run away.
i've learnt one thing for sure, never to cycle down a slope ever again. period.

okay, lets look on the bright side.
zak and sha visited me the other day. they came over and fried nuggets, potato wedges and fries. and the glutinous rice balls. oh, from my own freezer, mind you. but okay, they were so sweet.

and shaik buys me dinner every night.
i know.
sweet.

things people do for love.

get well soon, aisyah.
cuz i freaking cant wait to row anymore.
ergh.
and sorry guys, aisyah will never stop whining, for as long as she lives.

the fall

they say, theres always a first time for everything.
like the first time u fell from a bicycle.
it happened so fast.
it was ur first time on a bicycle.
and u went out of control.
and u fell into the big monsoon drain.
u lost conscious.
when u woke up there was this good looking policeman touching ur face.
u saw ur dad kneeling next to u.
there were several other policeman looking down at u.
u were lying on the fading flower printed sofa in the police station.
ceiling fans.
the awful smell of alcohol.
the goodlooking one asked u to breathe out through your nose, hard.
u tried.
it hurts.
but u did.
u tasted blood.
u saw blood oozing from ur nose.
the tissue paper was soaked in blood.
u passed out.
that was what happened when u were 3.
yet u still remember the incident so clearly playing in ur mind.
like it happened yesterday.
amazing things our mind does.
and on easter sunday, 8th april 2007, it happened again.
it was the first time in years u rode a bicycle on the road.
u did. once. at pandan loop.
and u almost got hit down by a car, driven by this indian man, with 3 indian children in the car.
a maroon car. coming from your right.
it was scary shit.
he horned so loudly, it almost made u go deaf.
no more road cycling, u tell yourself.
but kids these days.
dont listen.
so stubborn.
just like you.
on that unfortunate sunday, u went cycling.
there was a steep slope.
he said, dont press the brakes.
he was at the back.
okay, u shouted, i wont.
u went down fast.
rapid.
then there was a hump.
you dint know what to do.
u pressed on the brakes.
instant reflex action.
and the next thing u knew, u were dragged on the ground.
for like 2 metres or more.
u lied there on the hot tar road.
not daring to move.
afraid.
u stayed still.
numb.
silent.


then u saw him running towards u.
u attempted to move.
knowing u're still alive.
thats when the pain started to seep in insiduously.
u looked down on ur left toe.
the big toe.
it was soaked in blood.
that was when u realised,
the toe nail wasnt there.
that was when u felt,
the most excrutiating pain.
ever.
u cried.
u screamed.
u couldnt take it anymore.
u dint know what to do.

mr good samaritan walked over.
drove u to the hospital.
ur foot was bleeding so badly.
his car was bloody.
it was so so so so
painful.
u couldnt stop crying.
faces u've never seen before we staring right at u.
they know they cant do anything.
but they kept on telling u that everything will be okay.
but u know it wont be okay.
u cried.
and cried.
and u took a glance at the mirror in front of you.
and u saw the abrasion on your left jaw.
red and raw.
u looked away.
and continued crying.
like the world's gonna end.
its okay, they say, relax.
like its that easy.
when u reached the hospital,
more strange faces were watching u cry.
u cried like it didnt matter.
u didnt cared how ugly u looked.
how terrible u sounded.
how many people were looking,
how many people were watching.
hopelessly.
helplessly.
u just wanted the pain to go away.
the blood from your nail-less toe went
drip
drip
drip
the cleaner had to mop the floor
twice
u couldnt take it anymore
the wait was too long.
the pain was unbearable.
u cried loudly.
the nurse gave u 2 jabs of painkiller.
u waited some more.
they took an xray of ur injured foot.
blood was still oozing out from the wound.
it was sick.
so sick, when ur dad saw he almost passed out.
u waited some more.
at the operating theatre,
u waited some more.
they draped a woolen blanket over u cuz the OT was freezing.
ur wounds on ur knuckles an elbows got stuck to the blanket.
it bled when u peeled them off.
the blanket was stained with dried blood.
u waited
u cried
u fell asleep
the doctor came
jabbed anaesthetic on the nail-less toe.
which hurts like fuck.
3 times.
it was the most painful shit ever.
thinking about it makes u squirm, even now.
makes ur toe throbs in pain.
that was the ultimate.
u swear, u cried, u swear u'll never want that feeling ever again.
it was too painful.
fuck.
then ur toe went numb.
u were crying silently under the blanket.
praying that it'll be over soon.
hoping that the doc dint have to jab again.
then it was done.
u dared not look at ur toe.
with the artificial nail stitched onto it.
the nurse cleaned up ur wounds.
bandaged ur knuckles, wrists and elbows.
and the big one on ur knee.
and the toe.
u felt so much better after like 5 hours.
u went out of the OT.
laughing.
and crying at the same time.
7 bandages.
wheelchair bound.
paracetamol.
antibiotics.
12 abrasions.
3 bruises.
and a bleeding toe.
the blood never stopped flowing.
like how u never stopped crying.
no rowing.
no running.
no training.
competition in june.
sea games in december.
look on the bright side, they say.
be strong.
you'll be okay soon.
soon will take weeks.
or even months.
physical wounds will heal.
scars will stay.
but time waits for noone.


u want this shit to be over,
please.

u want to row.

u must row.

u have dreams to achieve,
goals to reach.

nothing can stop u.

when u fall, u have 2 choices:
stay down or get up.
make ur choice.

080407

the day that changed my life.

china & thailand!

omg.
guess who's back?
aisyah's back.
SHE IS BACK.
hurrah.
crazy.

so u know.
CHINA was... cold.
2 layers of jacket wasnt enuf. but that was all i had. morning temperatures could drop to as low as 5 degrees. and nowhere in singapore will we ever set the air con temp to 30 degrees. thank god the hotel had warm water in the toilet. if not, i wouldnt have showered for 5 days. nyaha.

pictures to show how GIGANTIC chinese rowers are.

just look!

whoa.

we feel small.

the women dont wanna lose out.

what more can i say?

okay so i dint win any medals. wanna hear my excuses?
1. the opening ceremony was freaking long we dint had time to warm up.
2. the weather was so cold plus i dint warm up so i wasnt prepared.
3. the weather was so cold mucus was flowing out of my nose during the race.
4. i didnt even break a single sweat cuz it was that cold.
shit. im full of excuses. and my timing for the 2000m race was so poor. it was like 8 mins plus and there was this china coach who had to announce that those who rowed more than 8mins have no hope for medal.

ouch.
other than the 2 qatar men who were old but i heard they're rich and nic said they were interested in me but i was sooo not interested in rich old men, i was the only competitor who wasnt chinese. the other teams were from chinese taipei, korea and hongkong. and china, obviously. the only ppl i spoke to throughout my stay in china were elsie and nicholas. haha. and i attempted to communicate with this chinese taipei girl, wendy.

i think she's handsome. dont ya think so?

dont worry im still straight. haha.

we visited the boat making factory on the last day of our race which was so cool.

on the last night in china, we travelled to shanghai and stayed in this 4 star hotel, the Olympic Hotel. somehow we were upgraded to the executive suite at no extra cost so it was only around S$45 per night. it has a computer in the room and the toilet has a bath tub cum jacuzzi. what more could u ask for? seriously.

check out the suite:

and i was so excited about shanghai. we went shopping that night but we went to the department stores where the things were quite expensive and there was nothing interesting. so it was quite a waste that we didnt get to go to the bargain area. but anyways, i took some vids of shanghai, cuz u know, its not like everyday u get to go china!

yup. we went to shop at the stadium the next morning. still, nothing much, really. only shiok climate. eeyer. i miss china.

our 5 hours flight back was BORING to the max. china eastern had no music, no tv, no flight entertainment - at all. elsie was so bored she asked for jigsaw puzzle and was walking around the plane. i read about half of my jodi picoult book.

then a few days later, i went to THAILAND.

the exciting thing is that some people are actually going to school when im like having a holiday. okay, mean but oh so true. :)

thailand was no holiday tho. we trained twice a day. woke up 5 am every morning, training starts at 6am. we lived in a small bunglow in pattaya near the mapbrachan lake, where the sea games gonna be held. thailand was like dogs heaven. the first time i was there all types of dogs were chasing after me i was so scared i screamed and screamed and grabbed onto kumar for my dear life. haha. but i got used to the dogs eventually, i have to cuz they are everywhere. they are kinda cute tho. like our neighbour had this timid german shephard, another had this grumpy looking bulldog and some brown dogs. ya. brown dogs. sorry lah i dont know their type but they're seriously adorable. they will run to u and jump around. soooo cute nak mampos. haha. tak halal, aisyah.

the people in thailand either look like malay or chinese or like me. there was once we went to this public gym for our gym session and there was this freaking muscular ang moh who happily walked up to me, smiling, and started talking to me in thai! i was like, "sorry, im not thai." and he was like, "oh sorry i thought u were someone i knew." haha. paisey!

and thai guys are generally okay looking lah.

but the thai rowers are hot stuff. nyaha.

and in thailand, it seems like all they eat is fish or pork. and they eat fish like there's a lifetime supply of fish. they eat fish like crazy. its like nutella to them. haha. we went for bbq something like seoul garden twice. and it costs only 120Bhat per person which is like S$6 for bbq. hello. super cheap, pls. but then again, most of the food they had was fish. fish and pork. pork and fish. so i only ate rice, noodle, chicken, fruits and ice cream. yummy yummy ice cream with jackfruit bits.

shopping in thailand. need i say more? haha.

too bad we couldnt visit the chatuchak market cuz elsie said we had to rest. :(

we visited the navy beach which was oh so so beautiful. they had this small island where u could walk across the water to reach the island and the island is formed because thats where 2 ocean currents meet and i dont think its called an island and i know, im a lousy geogger. haha. but oh well, it was gorgeous. we ate sticky rice and bbq chicken at the beach which was yummy. and the fruits there are simply the best la.

we visited the turtle conservation centre also. where i found out that the bigger the turtles, the smellier they are. haha.

then we ran up this mountain. i took 23mins and the guys took like 15mins. it was painful, i swear. the path was inclined all the way to the top. seriously. no more, please.

oh and i went home like 3 days earlier cuz i had to go for the compass test. and hello, nicholas (the boss) was so angry he was scolding me on the phone when i was in thailand cuz i dint tell him i was leaving earlier and i had to freaking pay for my flight tickets. grr.

on the last day, i followed some of the thai rowers to bangkok cuz they had an exam to sit for. so i roamed around bangkok for like 4hrs- ALONE. but most of the shops werent opened yet tho so i walked around aimlessly.

then they fetched me to the airport where i did everything alone which was quite exciting. haha. like some kind of an adventure. checked in alone, walked around the airport alone, boarded the plane alone, sat alone. haha. i finished my jodi picoult book druing the flight and it was so touching i cried okay. haha.

i reached singapore safely- alone.

exciting or what.

then then.

now im back to full time rowing.

im not schooling, not working, not earning.

something like a slacker, but not really a slacker.

and im so not enjoying it cuz my friends are earning, and im not.

sacrifices, they say.

pantat, i say.

nothing more to say.

the As.

Okay right now im going through this oh-fuck-whatever-decision-i-make-now-will-SERIOUSLY-change-my-life phase. very exciting i tell you.
oh results day was even more interesting. it was one of the very few days i dont have to row. (cue: applause) so i thought i could happily wake up in the late morning instead of 5am like i do every single day. then at 9.45am a teacher from acjc called me while i was happily sleeping. and she told me to be in school before 10.30am. cuz the BH wanted to interview me. i know, so exciting lah please. but to reach school b4 10.30 is mengarut la. i was like ARE YOU SERIOUS? 10.30? okay so on that day aisyah tak mandi pagi okay. haha. ive NEVER rushed like mad like i did on that day before. to brush my teeth, pee, wash my face, iron my clothes and brush my hair in place in less than 45 mins would seem impossible for me. and yes, youre right. it is impossible. i ran out of my house at 10.30am. frantically flagging for cabs with taxi drivers who cant seem to comprehend the panic look on my face. annoying to the max. took a bus to marsiling mrt. the taxi queue was like purposefully bloody long but i joined it anyway. so i reached school at 11am. hurrah. i called hazi on the cab cuz i was worried the interview would be conducted in malay so she was teaching me some malay words! hahaha. funny or wat. but thank god the interviewer was speaking in english. yah so i reached school and the teacher was briefing me on some questions the interviewer might ask. read: school reputation. okay so when it was my turn i saw haryati in the interview room. we know our results already which kinda spoilt the excitement. haha. when the teacher showed my results i was like, "then..why he want to interview me?" hahaha. seriously. its not worthy of any kind of interview, please. but okay so lets like look on the bright side here okay. they want to interview me then so be it lah. hahaha. okay so haryati is AC's top malay scorer and im so so proud of her. sporty, gorgeous, intelligent. what more could u ask for? anyhoo. they took stupid ugly pictures of me. and thats about it.
okay so i shall say the newspaper article featuring haryati and one tenth of it, me. i thought it was kind of a public humiliation. seriously. my results are nothing to be proud of or to showcase to the whole of the malay community. and so so so many of my friends got much better grades. but okay so they already put my face there and like 2 paragraphs about me so i cant do anything about that. and at least lah say something like, despite her busy rowing trainings her results are like superb for a national athlete but NO, nothing like that at all. they simply said i was haryati's friend and schoolmate, i scored this, i did that and ya. thats it. now everyone knows how badly ive done. but okay, lets ALWAYS look on the bright side okay. okay yes. they wont interview me for nothing right. at least write there lah, "proves that u can excel in both sports and acads." seriously. public humiliation is all i can think. but okay. think positive. optimistic. ok. OK. i said OKAY already.
wah fierce or wat.

the worst part of the day was watching people after people walking up the stage knowing they got 3 distinctions or more. what made it worse was already knowing beforehand that u wouldnt be the one going on stage. or should that be a good thing? i dont know. but sitting there watching your friends sitting next to you go on stage, leaving empty spaces next to you isnt a good feeling. and hello, samuel beh, my twin brother (same birthday but i guess im the more stupider twin), was top arts student. im so so proud of him.
for those who didnt do too well, ive always lived by this quote:

"IF you fall down you've only got 2 choices; stay down or get up."

theres a first time for everything like theres a first time for me not to see any distiction at all in my results. first time i cried cuz i thought i did badly. yes i did cry, cried like SHIT, but okay, they say the As is just a ticket to the uni. yeah. i know, saying is easy. but please, lets sing it! always look on the bright side of life. (whistle)
okay, so im a pantat. i know.
now comes the phase i hate most cuz it requires so much thinking and decision making and ive never done this shit for so long. haha. which uni. what course. which scholarship. piles of applications. litany of things to do. sigh.
and tmr im doing a 3 days 2 nights camp with hazi (finally) and on thursday im leaving for china. i know. damn random. china. hah. tell me about it. i'll be back on the 13th and prolly leaving for thailand on the 15th until like april? i guess. dont know yet. sigh. so that means i must get everything done, scholarship applications and all by ummm, today?

madness.

this whole week's gonna be crazy and dead tiring.

oh china, here i come.

sigh.

and we go, "always look on the bright side of life (whistle)" wee.

black again!

ola!
aisyah's back and darker than usual.
baah.
almost black lah please.
stop complaining, said the farmer.
oooh. had 2 camps recently. camps contain nicotine, i swear. they're addictive. and harmful. camps are like stressful to the maxi pads. u sleep at two, the earliest. wake up at 7, the latest. yet we still do it. and ask for more. its like digging our own graves. and lucky for us, the camps are like a few bus stops away from the graveyards. save on the transport costs. but look at us, stubborn heads, like as though there's nothing else in the world to do. when ur wife says, "one is enough", obey her, please. cuz the kids. oh kids. some can be so cute u just wanna kidnap them and bring them home. get that paedophilic thought out of ur head please. paedophiles are SICK. and some kids wont just get on ur nerves, they jump around ur veins, hop from one neuron to another, step on ur blood vessels and capillaries, and there's more to what they can do. ohho. more than u can ever imagine. like auditioning to be part of supernanny. and some of those kids just make u wanna come back for more camps. its that smile u receive from them at the end of every camp, that sincere thank yous and the "best trainer" and other touching slash funny slash sweet comments they give you. wah. melts your heart. and when the bus leaves the campsites, u wave at them goodbye, smiling. but u have 2 contradicting thoughts in ur head while u smile. either cuz u'll probably miss them or that camp is sooooo over and u can finally go home to that soft soft bed of urs and sleep without worrying to wake up to "oh no, one more day to go" thoughts. and not to sleep on some carpark floors or dusty and sandy halls.

oh i met a friend the other day and she had to say, "u study so hard and u work as a camp instructor."

OUCH.

oh and im supposed to go for another one of the air force pilot test. this time it'll be 5hrs.

they laughed when i told them i signed up for pilot at rsaf.

when i met some old friends with shaved heads and army uniforms, its like reality whacked me right in the head. we're getting old and time seriously waits for noone.

sigh.

too much of sighing is bad for ur health.

im starting to adopt a freaking bad habit of sleeping when im not supposed to. like u know after u shower when u come back home at night, u pray, u havent unpack ur bags, havent plan what to do the next day, havent set ur alarm clock, then u thought to urself, "okay, 5 mins of lying on the bed." ending up waking up like 5 hrs later, late for school/work/training/what shit u have to do the next early morning. and the following night u do it again even if u told urself u wont do it again.

reason #29485 why i hate myself.

and im supposed to lose like 7kg by march.

and i row like every freaking day.

and the sun is already so freaking hot at 8.30am.

and training starts at 7.30am everyday.

and seriously, i should stop complaining.

ola. pan's lybrinth is weird. watch it if u feel like getting scared and laughing at the same time.

bangla!

SO freaking CUTE.

the hunt for a hot italian man with soft brown curls begins. nyaha.

eh, anyway, aisyah's got her tan back and she's happy. :D

she has been religiously going for rowing every single freaking day and she's trying not to complain. u can help her by giving her ur support and encouragement. your kindness will be very much appreciated.

have u seen the blisters on her palms? if u havent, thank God u havent.

but she still has those freaking annoying babbbats hanging around for god knows what. they just wont budge!

i think she has to cut down on the "i-had-a-gd-day-of-training-and-i-should-treat-myself" meals. her favourite meal she always pampers herself with is burger ramly.

burger ramly is like ariel from peter pan.

both are HOT STUFF.

i like.

oh and so is the ayam penyet at lucky plaza.

no wonder the flabs are still lingering around.

anyhoo.

she had her latest camp at sarimbun with a bunch of freaking annoying p5 kids.

i hope i dont have to take primary school kids anymore.

aisyah's bangla-o-phobia's back. both bangla incidences happened at the pavement near my rowing centre. last week this bangla on a bicycle was cycling past me and he stopped and reached out his freaking filthy disgusting hands towards me and i ran away. yesterday, i think its the same bangla (God knows! they all look alike!) on a bicycle followed me into the quiet road leading into the rowing centre wiht his freaking bike for goodness sake and i quickly ran up to the reservoir. he stopped and turned away.

i wish they will just leave me alone.

:(

i dont wanna think about it.

and these days, u just cant trust anyone.

sigh.

and its only january.

inno

im a terrible friend.
Nad's birthday was on 7th january and i didnt even leave her a birthday message on the phone nor did i give her a call. my phone was down and i couldnt get her number. if you're reading this, nad, im sorry and happy belated birthday. i promise to get u something to make up for my lousiness as a friend.
sometimes, i hate myself for making empty promises. sometimes, i should just SHUT UP.
its already the 13th of jan and i havent written my new year resolutions. its bothering me badly. its not like i would actually look into it again but writing resolutions supposed to make u feel prepared and organised, setting goals and having targets, having purposes and stuff like that. but no. everytime i attempt to start on new year resolution number one, i'll fall asleep.
and im deprived of sleep.
have u seen my eye bags lately? from bowling bags to sling bags, now my eyes wanna have haversacks too. competitive yo.
after 3 weeks since i joined my dad's company, i've only attended work for 6 days. i swear they think im a big, lazy ass slacker but whenever i go to work im freaking efficient. thats why i think they want me back. hur hur.
i just came back from another camp with innotrek. 3 days 2 nights at raffles marina. and wow wow wee surprisingly raffles marina is located neither at rafffles nor marina but at tuas. weather was bad. it rained throughout the 3 days. the kids had to evacuate from their tents in the middle of the 1st night to move to the carpark to sleep. it was the first time i slept on the hard cold floor of a carpark. but 2nd night was good cuz we get to sleep in the gym where the yoga mats were soft and snuggly and my sleeping bag was so comfy and the gym temperature was almost perfect. campsite was good cuz its in a freaking country club so we get to shower in warm water, use the members toilet. haha. best. the kids were great. my class won the most improved class. (hey, my group won again.) and im so proud of them. there were the tough times and the challenges along the way like having a hearing impaired boy in my class (whom i find really cute.) but eventually, everything went fine and the experience i took home was like no other. the best thing about being a camp instructor is to see the smiles on the faces of the kids, giving u that sense of satisfaction and achievement. but the awful thing is that the bond that we built can only stay for 3 days and nomore than that. after the camp, whatever bond i have with the kids disappear as though it never existed. anyhow, i had so much fun. despite the lack of sleep, the stress we had to go thru and everything else. thus, the eye bags. no, eye haversacks.
sometimes i love myself for being able to do this kind of stuff. haha.
but i still hate myself for being so fickle, lazy and weak. and im supposed to row but camps have been making me sick. and awfully exhausted. i wanna row and get back into shape. get a nice tan and gain back my muscles. i miss being fit. i miss being strong. sad thing is: i miss being called buff. now im being called fat. fat is like the ultimate. fat is like sad. fat is.. aiya. donno what im saying.
thats why i guess right now to me the new year resolution i owe myself is very important cuz i really need to prioritize everything i do. and i need to make up my mind and get my ass working.
Happy Birthday to everyone who's celebrating their birthdays on Jan.
love, Aisyah :)

camphO!

there was a time when people say that aisyah couldnt find a job cuz she's such a lazy asshole and all she thinks about is rowing/ but she did.

AISYAH IS OFFICIALLY EMPLOYED.

first achievement of the year. clap, please. gimme a pat on my back. extend your warm congrats wishes to me. aisyah's all grown up now.

working

school uniforms office clothes

classmates (so much) older colleagues

students concession stupid-&-freaking-expensive adults fare.

recess with friends lunch alone

please, stop the clocks.

im not ready yet.

smilie: sad face. very, very sad face. no wrinkles, please.

its a war out there. from the moment u step out of the house. the key to survive is to acquire the relevant skills and have good preparation, which comes with experience. like they say,

"failing to prepare is preparing to fail."

arm yourself with combat stilletos, stick-on-and-please-dont-fall-off earphones, lifelong batteries, books to keep u awake, soduku, etc. there may be times when the train is so bloody packed u cant even move your head. been there, done that. and please morning people, go shower when u wake up or apply some deodrant, at least. please do us a favour. but not everyone is considerate. so be mentally prepared.

work is to sit in front of the monitor for 8 hours.

lunch is to tapau food back to the pantry. save money on the drinks.

after lunch is to eat as many sweets and drink coffee as much as possible to stay awake.

after 6 is to face another packed train affair. usually comes with seats. sit and sleep.

this is the life aisyah never wanted. the type of work aisyah will never do.

im gonna quit soon. just hold on a little longer, get that pay cheque and leave.

why do things u never liked?

but just to get my handphone line back, i must do it.

sometimes, i find brothers useless and a waste of space.

i wonder what they find in me.

then aisyah can work as a camp instructor.

the orientation camp at pei hwa was great. sengkang is like another world of their own. and i had no idea we could walk to jalan kayu from layar lrt station. i had no idea layar lrt staion existed. campfire was superb. the people were great. i had lots of fun. yay :)

my sore throat's getting worse.

bought a cake for my mum's bday yest. had a picture of me and her on the cake. it was pretty and chocolatey. and fattening. then we went shopping at vivo. she ended up buying herself an expensive scholl shoe and said that i shouldn spend so much. i dint buy anything.

uhh.

we ate at figs and olive.

then there's rowing. there'll always be.

i ran 5km for the mengarut rowing selection test. had cramps and a stupid and annoying sore throat choking me to death. finished in 31 minutes. lost my ability to run and actually enjoy it. losing the love to run. feels like losing a loved one.

rowing training officially starts on wednesday.

next camp begins on the same day.

he said i should do what i love the most,

but that is to be with him.

again, i shall emphasize: i hate the adults fare.

and i hate growing up.

its already the 7th. and i havent written my new year resolution.

work!

first day of work at my dad's office was best. they had a christmas party and i was invited. i had a door gift. they played games which i won one of the rounds. they had a lucky draw which i won one of the prizes. and they had gooooood food. and my dad's colleagues were so nice they gave me a box of christmas log cake. yummy. i went home with alot of stuff. im happy. but work was boring tho. i was given 3048 lists to complete but i managed to finish only 2139, which was actually unexpectedly amazing for someone who hasnt touched excel since the esther ows days back in bp. and i dont miss esther ow and stupid redundant computer classes. but merry christmas to her anyway. and yes. i know next week's work wont be as nice cuz christmas only comes once a year but okay. lets just get the job done and get paid.
i had camp a few days before that. the camp instructor job ive been dying for. i was supposed to attend the 5 days camp but i managed to go only for 2 days and im very sure hans, the boss, isnt very happy so im so dead meat but please hans, dont kill me now cuz i dont want to die fat. let me lose these babbats around my waists and thighs first and then u can kill me. and yes, im fat. i went for this stupid fat test which i think was some stupid hoax cuz i dont think my body fat percentage could be that high and they weighed me and its like 3 kg more than usual. so they're just trying to sell what they sell which is this stupid nutrition shake and sorry guys i dont believe in nutrition shakes cuz im a lazy ass and the only way i can lose weight is to row and run. not drink some nutrition shake and lose weight and btw im too broke to even top up my ticket. so ur 300 dollars nutrition shake is just not for me and thanks for taking your time to explain to me that im fat. now everyone knows that im actually fat.
but the camp at orchid country club was good. i had fun. i get to mingle around with filthy rich kindergarten kids. some of them were really adorable tempts u to kidnap them. but theres a handful of them who were so bloody pampered they get on your nerves, jump around and break them. but overall i had fun even tho it was only 2 days. i wish i had went for more tho. the first day which was a tuesday the day singapore experienced the 24 hr rain. stupid rain. i was sitting at the back of the pick up truck with naomi and we got so wet under the rain. i fell sick the next day. thanks, rain. and speaking about rain, i cant get that rain song out of my head which goes something like, "rain is coming tru the rooftop." and his stupid music video. and i hear it and i see him wherever i go and he's not even cute, please.
then there was the outing with 402 on the same day of that stupid rainy day. they cancelled the bbq so we slacked at vlee's condo. food was little but good. thanks girls for cooking for us. hahaha. u dont expect me to cook, do you? then vlee took over and did the rest of the cooking, while we watched saw 3. i had the urge to tell everyone the story but i refrained myself from getting kicked out of the room. haha. i love my friends. lets have another outing. melvin, do your job. :)
talking about outings. im supposed to plan the 203 outing but i just cant find the time. sorry guys. i'll trrry okay. trying.
so next week's gonna be pretty short. christmas party on monday with mommy, habibosaurus and sayang. tuesday's work. wednesday's gonna be the camp im so looking forward to. and the rest of the days gonna be work work work. work like a log. log cakes. haha. i havent used up my amore spa and class vouchers. i havent visited the dentist for ages. saturday- soccer and bbq. sigh. then 2006 will be over. and tada, its the new year and u start writing these new year resolutions u never look back into throughout the year. maybe u do but its just me. i dont. i look back once in a while and laugh. like last year i wished that i would lose weight this year and no i havent. sad thing. and i havent written my reflections too. my mirror is kinda piled up with dust. im such a lazy asshole. and im allergic to dust anyway. so i cant reflect right now. i'll find time and reflect okay. but i dont wanna reflect myself cuz i dont wanna see my eyebrows. they're different, in size and shape. itchy hands. dont ever pluck your own eyebrows. dont say aisyah didnt warn you. and yup. thats it i guess.
and if ure reading this and u suddenly miss me, i miss you too.

merry christmas.

go see lights at orchard with ur daddy, dear. :)

kl.

Create Your Own


KL is only exciting when u have the fulus. money bebeh. no money no shopping. so yes, the 3 days 2 nights trip to KL was more of a relaxing holiday rather than a shopping holiday. thats what i told myself tho. (stuooopid prom, waste of money!)

WHACK my kuku head.

the tour package brought us to strictly massive shopping places like genting and petaling street and please oh please KLCC! and the chocolate boutique. i love the durian chocolates! but in the end we bought a box of tiramisu dark chocs and 2 tins of assorted chocolates which didnt quite manage to make it to singapore bcuz by then they were already in my tummy. yes friends, the tummy. the great malaysian sale was just madness. but thats just too bad. who told me to spend so much on stupid prom. it wasnt that bad lah but still. alah.
well i did had fun lah. family outing. haha.
we spent 3 hrs at genting and that was so not enough cuz it was a sunday and the theme park was bloody packed and we already bought the RM30 tickets (each!) for both outdoor and indoor ride. so we decided to take the craziest outdoor ride which was this:

it was quite disappointing cuz the queue itself took us 1hr. they should have special priveileges for singaporeans or tourists or sort cuz these malaysian can always visit genting anytime they want wat. and the best thing is, the ride itself wasnt even a minute. okay, going up took about 15seconds, the wait up there was 12seconds and the first drop took 5 secs the second and consequent drops about 3 secs so total time was approximately 40 seconds?

but okay i had to admit it was good. when the thing was lifted up, i knew there was no turning back la. i was shivering like crazy. the first drop was the craziest! from land u thought that 5 seconds is short but when i was up there, 5 seconds seems like forever i swear. it was so scary i couldnt scream. crazy. but exciting. it wasnt worth the RM30 cuz it was the only thrill ride we took but okay, in life we gotta move on.
the best food we ate was at the pasar malam. roti john, kebab, serondeng, alot lah. i like. and of course, hotel breakfast, no doubt.
oh and yeah, hussein saabban the suria comedian was in our tour group which was quite exciting cuz he's damn funny. surprisingly i didnt take any pictures of him. hmmm.

okay yay. kl done and over with. he said over and done with. then i realised, YES, its over and done with. like the stupid ronald mcdonald before you cross the road song, "look right look left look right again." or was it, "look left look right look left again"?
i rowed today. but i wasnt too happy. cuz all my fitness has dropped to zero and its back to square one. painful to think about it.

really. :(

alrighty. my back's aching and my nose is itching. i desperately need a job.

i dont like to grow old.

asian games

i have a dream.

one day im gonna clinch the gold for singapore in rowing.

they say u should never be afraid to dream.

Tao Li's one happy 16 year old.

im proud of her, i really am.

and to elsie, my senior rower,

who worked her ass off for the games,

im proud of her too,

even tho she brings home no medal.

sometimes its not about winning,

but about taking part.

rowing's not an easy sport.

but nothing is impossible.

and dreams do come true.

PROM!

prom was exciting but my mum was furious.
cuz i spent a litttttle too much. little bit. just like a few hundred too much. hahaha. forget it. we forgive and forget. okay. haha. sorry mummy. when i get a job, i'll give u all my money. haha. im a terrible daughter, i swear.
anyway, yes, so prom was good. prom was like mass photo taking day. no one really bothered about the performances and the lucky draw (i was so on about the lucky draw lah but as usual i'll didnt win anything). ritz was gorgeous, but i prefer fullerton tho. and please, oh please, the food sucks. i dont know why we had to pay $90 for that kind of food. (yes, to all other people from other jcs out there, we paid $90! so stop complaining!) id rather pay $90 to al-ameen to serve my dinner. my table was muslim food for super obvious reasons. and they served like little little dishes to us one by one, like minute dishes, like really tiny plates. and they had to serve seafood cuz they know i hate seafood and they just had to cuz its like if its muslim, it has to be seafood, like muslim food = seafood, muslim = sea. like that. grar. i attempted to eat the prawns and i dont like them. i didnt touch the fish sambal, and half of my seafood fried noodles was filled with prawns. and yes, if u havent got the point yet, I DESPISE SEAFOOD. yuck. so yes its my fault that i dont like seafood and im complaining abt the food but it seems that im not alone to agree abt the bad bad BAD food but okay so the desert was nice but THATS IT? like i can put the whole piece of strawberry pudding into my mouth. THATS IT?
grar. food was so so disappointing.
but lets get on shall we?
yes. i did my hair and make up at lucky plaza. my friend couldnt make it last minute so i had to spend on hair and make up and i looked like hantu that day. my face was 24596038 times whiter than usual. i could have promoted ginvera's whitening lotion on that day or something and ppl will surely buy. i like my hair tho. wee. curly wurly. then the make up artist said i looked like ning baizura, which reminded me of a really funny incident at marsiling mrt quite some time ago when a mat said i looked like ning baizura and was wooing me and yes, i ignored him. and surprisingly, khairul said i looked like ning too. ning-geling-geling. nyahaha. i think i look white, thats all. white and gigantic. hello. my shoes were 3 inch high lah please. i adore them. :)
so, yes. i waited for zakiah and her cab cuz it was raining like horses and cows. zak was wearing shades and a jacket cuz she had to travel by public transport. haha. this was the first picture i took on that day!

okay. so i have a thing going on with my body guard. haha.

when we got there, the lobby was packed! i was kinda nervous. dont know why. haha. silly. then everyone looked so pretty and hot, the photo taking began and didnt end right till the end. haha. many didnt recognize me cuz the make up was like 2 cm thick. haha. and yes, i forgot to remove my retainers until deb was like, "aisyah! why u still wearing ur retainers?" righto.
it was exciting cuz u get to take pictures with random people like that guy who u thought was cute but u never talked to before, or that school hunk, or the sportsboy of the year, or mr flirtatious! anyone lahhh. hahaha. more pics! more pics! oh and im sorry im plain lazy to crop them so yea, ENJOY!

suria celebs attending the pesta perdana. haha! - tetiey. zakiah. khairul.

esther.

the very adorable see yun :)

andrea was wearing 6 inch platforms, please. or was it 9 inch?

hazri and i love his white blazer.

hafiz hanafia.

arina. she looked gorgeous that night. :)

bonnie. who saved my life after my cam decided not to work.

my beautiful classmates- deb. pj. christelle. ethel.
sorry i look like a giant. :(

quincy. national golfer. hot stuff i tell you :)

rox and sam- more beautiful classmates of mine.

handsome hashim.


pearlly.
and look at bonnie in the background! hehe.

oh i had the same trouble too. tug here tug there. sorry lah my boobs are like tiny. haha. and i still have more pictures but i havent got them with me yet.
so, after prom there was the after prom party at dxo but i didnt go cuz my mum didnt allow me. so i went to cineleisure instead to watch Happy Feet and yes, ppl were staring at maybe cuz i look like a hantu and it was 12 midnight. haha.
yayness. seniors night -down and over with.
and i heard adeel was prom king for Innova and yuhao for Anderson! wah! my friends! im so lucky to be their friends! wah!! (eh hello? can u spare me the limelight?) hahaha. im so proud of them! weeee...
now im desperately seeking for a job cuz i need to return money to my brother who spared some cash for my dress, and to pay my bills and to give my mum. shittos. i dint thought finding a job will be THIS hard. when u've got a lobang, dont be selfish, share it with me, dont cover it up okay. haha.
and i wanna go ESCAPE just because its $6. weeee.

now im back to the brownish aisyah. no more whitening lotion. :)

pgl

exciting event #01
yay. the puteri gunung ledang musical at esplanade was exciting. the response for sure was overwhelming. the audience were dressed so glamorously i felt so bloody underdressed. i was clad in a green top i bought eons ago and a knee length white skirt like going to causeway point while the makciks and pakciks were in glam and glitter, in those RH fashion baju kurungs or hejab iran jubahs or anglia shirts and please, the rahimah rahim serkop slash sarban slash beehive slash entah apa lah ikat sini ikat sana simpul here and there twist and turn ur tudung become like turban. but oh well. it was still exciting tho. and my seats were sooo worth the cost. i was seating smack right in the middle of the foyer seats. or was it the stalls. i cant remember but it was the $60 tix. damn middle lah. haha. perfect view. splendid.
the direction, the set design, the music, the staging, the everything lah...wah best. power. kencang. haha. and the guys were hot stuff. dressed in those kebaya half thingies what they call it. haha. i mean hello if ure the guy u would say, oh tiara looks hot. haha. i dont find Stephen Rahman-Hughes as hang tuah that cute. but his voice - im sorry hady, ur lagenda was legend. AC Mizal played his role the best, i think. when he got angry and he shouted, it was scary, really scary. and not forgetting Tiara Jacquelina. she was perfect. no less than that. and her name was, (wah longer than mine): Gusti Puteri Retno Dumilah. i like.
anyway im too lazy to write about everything lah. if u missed it then too bad. but i didnt like the storyline tho. hmph. anyway, after the show i queued up for the autograph session (i know, SEMANGAT!) and i managed to get some pictures with my lousy quality VGA phone. so check them out! but who cares. exciting!! LOOK:

AC Mizal as Gusti Adipati Handaya Ningrat.
the name cannot angkat, please.

Adlin Aman Ramlie as Sultan Mahmud

Stephen Rahman-Hughes as Hang Tuah

exciting event #02

weee. and before the show i was out shopping for prom dress with heen and elly. it was exciting toooo. :D

the indon, filipino and ang moh. haha.

and this is our attempt to smile without showing our teeth. :)

exciting event #03
and yesterday i received a letter from the air force. i was sooooo excited and i expected a rejection letter but then...

look look!! open open!!

it wasnt a confirmation letter either and it turned out to be an ivitation toa seminar on the 9th which i cant freaking go cuz i'll be in kl and it seems like the whole world is going to kl. grar.

ngantuk. gotta sleeep. must run. lose wt den go find a dress. yes, i havent found a dress yet. with no money cuz im just too lazy to find a job, i regretted paying $90 for that prom night. grar. cuz it doesnt include dress cost, shoe cost, handbag cost, accesories cost, hair and make up and taxi fare. and shopping with no money is not fun, trust me. go sleep. i still have eye bags from the stupid Alevels. go away.

pictures

aisyah got bored so she decided to photoshop some pictures. nyaha. enjoy. :)

aisyah + syahir = aisyahir. collio-ho.

aisyah + shaheen = aisyaheen. forever. :)

ac perbayu laydees buka puasa together.

amaria + aisyah = amaria + aisyah. hahaha.

karate + rowing

april 20 babies. he's my twin!

nice right? haha. i loik. im gonna photoshop some more. exciting nyerr :D

after As

my favourite, please!

this vid makes me laugh whenever im feeling down. i love taufik, i swear. haha.

anyway, in case u didnt know,

THE A LEVELS ARE OVEERRRRRR!!!!!

for me, that is. muahaha. im still evil, i know.

so now im trying to get used to not mugging. seriously, its not easy, but so far, so good. im getting a hang of it. sleeping bloody early, waking up freaking late, 11 hours or even 12 hours of sleep or even more but i force myself to wake up cuz more sleep=fat, watch tv like theres no tomorrow, dvds of all the movies i missed out- hard candy, superman returns, spiderman2, i know, that bad. got addicted to PS2- germany world cup, yazuka, need for speed, GTA san andreas, street soccer with christiano ronaldo as my all time fave player (he looks so good even tho its animation, i tell you), surf the net, search for prom dress online, oogle over jovani's dresses which i will only wear when i marry the prince of brunei or something (psst: i heard he's umm...fat). hmmm...marry the prince of brunei will mean that i can marry at fullerton and go on a honeymoon at dubai. hmmm.. i'll think about it. anyone has got his contacts? and helloooo? he drives a lambourghini, please.

BURST BURST. stop dreaming can?

ya, i havent really got the time to go out shopping cuz most of my friends are still having their As (sniggers), some are in poly so they prolly have school, and syahir's away at the moment. so, its quite sad, really but i dont really mind going shopping alone but you see, im the most fickle person in the world and if i cant make up my mind i get really pissed, i'll spend impulsively or not buy the things i want cuz i need a second opinion but to me, honestly, shopping alone seems more like a release therapy and now that i made it sound good to shop alone i think im gonna get dressed once i finish typing this entry and will go shopppping alone!!!

but where do i dig all the money from? my insignificant pantat?

hmmm...

so that means that i have to get a job soon before my raya money runs out.

i went for my FIRST JOB INTERVIEW last friday at holland v. i suddenly had this interest to be a camp instructor. so me and syahir met the founder of Unleash- dont ask me why u havent heard of it. but the interview went fine. the guy was nice and the job sounds interesting u know. getting to meet new people, go on camping trips to various camping sites in singapore, but we have to learn how to eat worms, sembelih our own chicken, eat (pukes) fish, scale the fish, clean the fish...WAAAEEEK. fish is like MAT language- they make me squirm in disguist.

mat language is hilarious- eh, mantain sua. tau takper. eh member tak tunjuk respect sial. ehem. and my favourite, darah up, siol!

right. the job? ahh yes. then im also afraid of the dark, ghosts, u know, these stuffs, oh and cockroaches, flying insects and MOSQUITOES! so umm yea, many drawbacks so i dont know if i really want it. but lets just see how things go.

oh yesterday i went jalan raya with the 203 people i miss so so much!!! wah!! had loads of fun. we're crazy people i tell you. and the best was haikel's dad. he made me laughed until my jaws, face, shoulders right down to my stomach was hurting and aching. and i cried and cried cuz i laughed too much. tak boleh angkat, siol --> eh, mat language in good use! applause.

and i learnt a new word: senak. and shaheen's mum said i was "fat but its okay cuz im tall". and haikel said i needed to lose weight and it was depressing, really but oh well. i dont blame them. my kebaya felt so ketat, i ate at almost every house and it was all in the name of aidilfitri.

last sat the ac malay people went to khairul's open house and we hogged the Xbox. im bad at ghost recon, i swear. but i beat daniel at soccer den there was some cock up and the next match he beat me 1-0 but it was fun.

and im dying to playing soccer.

and netball.

and row.

ergh. must go jogging, running, shopping, find a prom dress, find a make up aritst and hairdresser, find money...

life's not easy, even when the As are over.

sigh.

and sorry im not posting pictures cuz im sooooo lazy. :P

As!!!

Nakamura

he's hottt. and so is his scratching, of course :)

my As are halfway done.
GP was like susah giler nak semampos mampos nyer. the essay was okay but the compre was like *screams* TAIK! nak mampos. mengarut. ergh. giler. bacin. ARGH.
then there was the "move one, aisyah" phase.
maths was (ehem) pretty okay. (beams) tough, i have to admit but more doable than prelims. its the only paper i feel confident about. but hey, not holding my hopes so high up in the dark grey sky, but okay, gotta have confidence. ehh, what mengarut things am i saying?
anyway, physical geog was...like that. like rocks. like water. like earth and air. i was kinda sad to end the paper cuz, i love physical geog. i love Hortonian overland flow and hydrographs and Rossby waves and ITCZ and plate tectonics and crustal plates. seriously. i do. *WHACK*
so next week, 4 papers more, 3 more days and on thursday, 16th november 2006, (take note in your calender: 16.11.06 - aisyah declares holiday for the world!!! only applies to those ppl i like. the rest of u like rude taxi drivers and scary consturction workers who thinks im an indonesian maid or srilankan rower (like hello? sri lanka?), im sorry, u guys have to work okay?) saiyidah aisyah binte mohamed rafa'ee will taste the air of freedom which she has deprived herself of for the past month or so.
i so so bloody cant wait.
chant with me, freedom! liberty! merdeka!!!! freedom! liberty! merdeka!!!
ergh. gp. the epitome of mengarutnesssss...
eh, i signed up for the air force like eons ago and they (finally) called me this morning. okay, i know what u guys are thinking. like WHAT'S AISYAH'S THINKING!? the air force is like impossibleismo! alah, just wanna try my lucky luck luck lahh. anyway the call yes, firstly i almost hung up cuz i tot the guy was calling the wrong number... swathiya? sawaidiyah? i had to ask, "is it saiyidah?" (rolls eyes) then he was asking my ht and wt and *gasps* my eyesight. oh no. i had to tell him the truth. so i said around 500 but not sure how much and he was like, "oh ok then thats all i need." then i was sad for the rest of the day. i really was.

anyway, im into scratching these days. ya, scratch my ass. kuku. scratch the table la. hahaha. okay, dont know what has got into me. yes. turntables, i mean. i think they're hott stuff.

but anyway, the mostestest important thing now is, the (life after) As. haha.

ive never felt so slack in my life before. esp not drg a major exam.

hey friends, even if i dont do well, u guys will still love me the same right?

eh, for those who end the week after mine and even two weeks after me, two words for u guys, Im Sorry.

i mean... TOO BAD.

oh no, im growing horns on my head and look a tail too.

haha.

and this year i had the least hari raya collection in my life. grar.

freedom! liberty! rejoice and celebration! SLAMAT HARI RAYA!!

till then, i'll just scratch my pantat.

haha.

exams are like doing your business. sometimes painful, sometimes easy, but most of the time, u feel relieved once its over and done with.

AISYAH loves geog.

geog-ging, i mean. :)