24

So here I am at 6:18am in the crowded bus going to work. I should be getting ready for training for goodness sake but nope. Here I am. Sniffing in the air of kopetosankuit. My dad used to call people who dont shower in the morning kopets. And kopetosanquits is the smell that they produce. Ew.
Im always always always complaining about not being able to train, having so little time on water, not wanting to be here and wish I was somewhere else like the boat. Im always saying I will make a difference to my life. Live the dream. Change. Pursue. But nope. Here I am in the bus going to work. Still.
I dont want to make irrational decisions, ending up regretting my choices in life knowing that I cant turn back (omg my eyes suddenly feel like they weigh a ton!!!)

This is funny but I actually fell asleep while typing the above and forogt about this post totally. Anyhoos as I lay down here, having an hr left spending my time being 24, I feel that I havent seized enough. Some people are already managers and millionares at 24. Im laying here in this half past bed in my rundown training centre earning just enough to make me feel happy. Do I really want this life? Even the greatest rower said that as rowers we cant possibly be filthy rich. Am I willing to forgo that to chase after my dreams?
Yeah.
Im gonna sleep now. Because tmr I have to be awesome on water. That gold is waiting for me.

GRAR

this is like the least necessary thing to say right now amidst the mess and chaos at work but i have this sudden urge to chop off my hair. A STRONG URGE.

should i?