welcome to LOSERVILLE.

this is gonna be a sad, depressing, stupid, awful, disgusting, lousy, total loser entry.

i failed my driving test.
i forgot how to park.
i swear i did.
i dont know what i was thinking.
i wasnt thinking.
i striked the curb twice and ive never striked the curb before.
i never did a parking wrong.
but yesterday, it was all wrong.
so, so wrong.

lets not talk about it.

boo 10th of may. boo!

im such a loser i swear.
it was hardly 2 mins into the test and i already failed.
i could see it at the corner of my eye on the tester's computer.
IMMEDIATE FAILURE in big, red, bold letters.
its like a in-your-face thing.
and the tester kept on saying, you must practice on your parking.
GOD DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I SPENT ON MY LESSONS AND HOW MANY THOUSAND TIMES I PARK AND JUST CUZ I SEE YOUR UNFRIENDLY FACE MY MIND WENT BLANK AND IT WAS AS THOUGH IVE NEVER PARKED IN MY LIFE BEFORE.
i dont blame you, mr tester.
you were just doing your job of putting on a scary face :(
i was so pissed at myself, the next few stations, the parallel parking (oh yes, i failed at vertical parking can u believe this shit?), the S course and the crank course and the slope was more than perfect, flawless. and yes, even after i failed he made me go tru the whole thing.

and after im done i was supposed to follow him to take my test result but i refuse to go, i waited till my driving instructor came and i cried bucketssssss omg. and he just stood there offering tissue paper. i was wailing i swear.

"MR LAIIIII I DONT WANNNA DRIVE ANYMOREEEEE"

OMG IM SUCH A LOSER ASSHOLE KIND OF THING.

wtf.

OKAY IM NOT SUPPOSED TO MULL ABOUT IT, GOD.

okay so the loser decided to go for rehab yesterday after the test.
okay i take that back.
the girl who's awesome on water but apparenlty not in the car (better?)
has been going for rehab almost everyday.
and im not complaining cuz my knees are definitely getting stronger.
and im aching for like the first time in many years.
painful, but i like.
rehab can be really painful.
ive been sitting on my least favourite machine in the world, the ergometer.
but thats the closest option to rowing on water.
im left with no choice.
i cant seem to reach the splits that i used to row,
which means that my strength and endurance have dropped miserably.
but i have to be patient.
BUT THERES NOT MUCH TIME LEFT TO SEARF AND ASIA CUP.
okay cool.

when i panic, everything is a disaster.
i need to take stress management classes.

okay so around 2-3 weeks to searf. I KNOW RIGHT HOW SCARY SHIT IS THAT.
and i havent been on the boat for 2 week or so.
this is crazy shit.
sometimes, well honestly, most of the time,
i regret going for the surgery,
but to put it in a good light,
this pain, i will remember,
cuz it will make me stronger.

you know, Nadz said,
the first time i raced on the singles, i capsized at the start.
and after that, i became awesome.
maybe it applies to my driving as well.
well, if thats the case, i cant wait to be awesome on the road.

WAH I THINK I HAVE THE MOST PATIENT BOYFRIEND IN THE WORLD.
i whine 98% of the time, i cry like almost everyday, i get mad and angry at nothing,
he's like dating a 10 yr old!
but im not complaining.
<3

DAH BYE.