Sunday, September 10, 2006

?

can i ask u something dear?
do u think im a loner?
am i friendless?
am i living a pathetic life?
what has ac done to me?
has rowing changed my life?
have i made the wrong choices?
then why do i feel lonely most of the time?
why do i not enjoy going to school?
why cant i look forward to school like i used to back in secondary school?
why cant i make friends like how i used to in bp?
why do i find it hard to find such friends?
what is happening to me?
have i changed?
am i arrogant?
how the hell did i manage to make so many friends back in bp?
why is it so hard for me to do so here?
what is stopping me from liking this school?
why do i hate it so much?
why?
what am i turning into?
why am i so quiet and reserved now?
what has caused me to change drastically?
is it because i rowed too much?
is it because relationships are getting in my way?
is it too late to enjoy ac when im going to leave the school soon?
what if i dont do well for my exams?
what will my parents think?
that i have failed them?
that i have failed myself?
will i cry?
will i regret?
will anyone come and support me?
am i stupid?
then why do i keep on failing?
even though i listen in class?
do my work regularly?
and study for tests and exams?
am i really that stupid?
what if i hadn't been a rower?
will things be different?
will i have more friends in school?
instead of having friends from all around the world?
and friends from rowing whom now never care?
could i have been a star player in netball?
could i have been an exco in mcs?
could i have been smarter?
does anyone care about how i feel?
how miserable it is to go home alone?
how farked up it feels to be one of the stupidest in class?
how shitty it is to spend my free periods alone?
how sad it is to have hated my 2 years of jc life?
how painful it is to not have friends?
am i really friendless?
so what if i have 400 friends in friendster?
and hundreds of people linked to my blog?
and people wishing my happy birthday on my birthdays?
and goodnights and good wishes on certain occasions?
will they be there when i really need them?
do they think about me?
do they care?
do you?

Friday, September 01, 2006

post exams

hady mirza- lagenda

hady made my heart melt.

but i still love taufik batisah and please, taufik can sing waaay better than hady but taufik's days of glory and honor over and done with. now he signs 7-11 big gulp cups for little boys.
"Big gulp. Big value. 7-11, its a store and more."
uhhuh. there you go. now its hady's turn to strutt his stuff. muahahaa. oh well. hady's adorable.

joakim's out! i kinda respect him for being able to tolerate the humiliation bear upon him. the determination i see in his performances week after week even tho he well, honestly speaking, suck. but i can see him work hard. and never showing signs of giving up. that's what i look up to, bebeh. that's what i respect.

okay fine. so im a loser right. so much for the "quitters dont win and winners dont quit" banner pinned up across the corkboard in my room. baah. go sit one corner, minah and cry your heart out cuz u know u'll fail like waaaay badly for your prelims and for goodness sake, its prelims. like, yea. and what did i hear u say? u slept through the econs paper? you didnt sleep the night before cuz u were burning the midnight oil? oh no, the pimples on your forehead's growing in the shape of the letter *gasp* L.
shut up oasis, i wont stop crying my heart out.

can someone just give me a tight slap. on my thighs. oh did you know? fast fact! fast fact! aisyah is so fat now that she's resistant to tickles. i swear. outrageous but true. oh my bedendeng. i really need to start working out. its annoying to feel fat. grar.

can u stop whining, please?

grar. thanks to prelims for ruining my life. now stop procrastinating and go study.
i dont remember promising my mum to clean the house after my exams. her incessant nagging has become my new alarm clock. and bloody hell, the dust in my room is as thick as my hair. baah.

oh my mum received so much presents for teachers day its uncountable therefore its so much instead of many. anywayyy, there's like mrs field's cookies, brownies of all sorts from the brownie factory, cheesecakes, cream puffs, hnadbags, bracelets, packets and packets of oreos, flowers, chocolates, more chocolates, many many much much chocolates, here chocolates there chocolates, and even more chocolates!!! i had a chocolate eating spree with my mum just now for breakfast. like a homemade chocolate buffet minus the fullerton hotel. hah. and syahir was like, "look at the thighs and dont say i didnt tell you to stop."

oh oh! fast fact number 2: my left calf muscle is waaaay waaay bigger than my right and its so freakin obvious the only people who cant see them are blind people. i swear its like my pair of calves belong to 2 totally different people! and i whacked my brothers cuz they laughed about it. grar.
oh and i bought ben & jerry's the bar for myself after my last exam paper. sometimes u have to pamper yourself, u know. and i watched so many movies i lost count! lemme see:
  • in her shoes is a must watch cuz it made me cry and smile at the same time
  • i watched she's the man twice!!
  • pride & prejudice (i know like WHAAT?) made me fall asleep
  • spiderman2 and kingdom of heaven is okaay. i know its like archaic. goes to show how much ive been missing out in life. nyaha.

wow. life is so good without exams i swear.

and last wednesday, i walked down Orchard Road in the rain, barefooted, holding my new pair of heels in one hand and my long skirt in the other, screaming at my brother, and him screaming back, running aorund flagging down for taxis. i swear i did it and NO it wasnt exciting.

it was the most unglam thing i ever did in my life! and bloddy hell, taxi drivers these days are simply heartless. okay hazi was right, we should have waited for the shuttle bus to great world city. and please. great world city is so out of the way and located in such a random place, i hate it! i was so pissed i just bought the new pair of heels and it got wet on the first day i wore it, we were late for the gala premiere (!!!) of Singapore Dreaming, someone took our seats and they said it was free seating, it was embarrassing, the theatre was cold and i was drenched, my toes were crying out in pain, we sat like 3 rows from the front, my neck hurts, i was hungry and and... it was just bad. grar.

thank god everything went okay after the movie. we met the stars of the show, i shook hands with one of them, we met the director, colin goh, we took pictures with these famous people, hazi talked to the mr goh, he's my dad's boss' friend, the executive producer, dr woffles wu, is my mum's students' dad. and im my mum's and my dad's daughter. wow.

and im watching the same movie next week! dont ask why.
its the beauty of divorce.

oh and the food was mmmmmmarvelous. nyaha. is that all you think about, aisyah?
anywayyy, yesterday was fun. went back to bp yesterday. skipped school cuz it makes me happy. i dont know why. why do i hate that place so so much? bp was fun. ex-BPians had the privilege to eat the food on display for the food delight competition. i had a huge slice of chocolate brownie-ish cake with hershey chocolate syrup all over. and i swear it contained a few thousand calories. and i tried almost everything on the display table including this yucky pudding like thing which tasted exactly how it looked like- yucky nak mampos! what made me eat that piece of shit? and the first thing chee said to me was, "where's your red bra?" thanks chee. nice to see you too, chee.
met so many people i miss so much i just feel like going back to bp and not graduate. ehh wait, to think of it again, no no. i'd rather leave the school, but not leave my friends. hah. sorry, i cant stand wearing ugly-maroon skirt which is supposed to be below knee level. NEVER again.

mcs farewell party was fun too. we played in the rain. water bombs hurt, i swear. and i was running around on the track barefooted. the soles of my feet are red and sore now! played soccer barefooted too. grar. soccer makes me go high. i love it. and the food was great, everyone had fun and yep, it was a great day. sigh. makes me regret a teeny weeny little bit that i should have been more on about mcs. well, some sacrifices have to be made. baah.

i havent rowed for AGES.

and my feet are itching for more soccer. soccer anyone?

The Visa Story

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