BITCH

yesterday didnt happen.

i didnt wake up quarrelling with my brother.
i didnt leave home fuming mad with my mum still nagging.
i didnt meet izzat and iylia and left them both.
i didnt check my awful results.
i didnt cry incessantly.
i didnt eat.
i didnt go for silat and busted my knee.
i didnt meet izzat and screamed at him.
he didnt let me see his phone.
he didnt msg her.
she didnt msg him.

if i know that my guy friend has a gf who hates me, with all due respect, i'll stay away. not pour sad stories and expect sympathy and pity out of the guy.

go find another shoulder to cry on, bitch.

and if i were a guy and i know that my gf hates this girl cuz she was flirting with me, i'll tell her to stay away. but apparently, some guys dont get it.

if im a bitch, ill say it to her face to STAY AWAY.
lucky for you,
im not.

and did my bf said i hated you?
initially i didnt. had no reason to.
its okay if u mutually flirted with him.
i never did hate you,
until last night.

merdeka!!!

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS DAY!
ITS FINALLY OVER!
FREEDOM!
MERDEKA! MERDEKAAAAA!!!!

ARE MY CAPS ANNOYING YOU?
MY MUM USED TO SMS ME USING CAPS.
NOW SHE USES SMS SHORTHAND LIKE
wr r u
cm bck nw
trf mn
cl me
AND EXPECTS PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE'S TRYING TO SAY.
AND YET PEOPLE DO.
ITS A MUM-THING.
LIKE HOW MUMS MUST ANNOY YOU AT LEAST ONCE EVERY SINGLE DAY? ITS A ROUTINE. THATS HOW THEY SHOW HOW MUCH THEY LOVE YOU AND HOW MUCH THEY CARE. SO WE HAVE COME TO ACCEPT THE FACT THAT ANNOY=LOVE.

THUS I ANNOY THE SHIT OUT OF YOU.

OKAY.
we ditch the caps and talk about how happy i am.
exams over sia. and they saved the best paper for the last.
PSYCH STATS is like A Maths of uni, in other words, CRAZY.
but Alhamdullilah, i thought it was pretty do-able. its undeniably SUSAH NAK MAMPOS but do-able would suffice for now.
so much for wanting CAP 4.0. impossibleismo. the sem started off bad bad bad. and what was i doing? waterfest planning. SHEESH. blame everything else but you.

i miss being smart. i bet noone believes my L1R5 ifor the Os was 7. kebabats! 7! sigh. thost were the days eh. i have temporary intelligence disorder.

anyhoos, its about time i can sit here and stare into space and say, "OH NO I'VE GOT NOTHING TO DO." but aisyah being aisyah, i wont allow that to happen so i've prepared a litany of THINGS TO DO AFTER THE EXAMS. but theres a big big problem: There's no such thing as free lunch. (wah ber-economist nampak!) AHH ECONS! THE HORROR!!
dont ever stuff econs sh** up my face EVER AGAIN. unless i get an A for econs which is impossiblismo! oh well :( (whats with impossiblismo, aisyah? -no eye dear) haha no eye dear sak. GILER. GILER is an understatement. okay no UNDERWORD. more on gilerness and what nots later but pls..can u stop making me digress?
(i didnt finish my econs paper. i know. what the fish.)

yes. so back to my list of THINGS TO DO AFTER THE EXAMS. i plan to do so many berlambak things and i dont plan to work, but im earning negatives and i want to spend so i have to work, not that i want to but i HAVE TO. so am i considered unemployed if i dont work? do i make up the labour force participation rate? HAHAHA econs sh**. superpokes econs. throws econs book at izzat. i HATE ECONS, and he's probably doing it for the rest of his life or so.

he said the most contradicting thing in the world just now: girls should marry when they're 25, no more. GLARES AT IZZAT. seriously dude. who's waiting for who now?

sheesh kebabs. im FAT. i need to run. OH RUNNING tops off my THINGS TO DO AFTER THE EXAMS list. wee. then i wanna swim and climb and sleeep. YES SLEEEP. i had the exams pimples and the exams eye bags and the exams puffy face. i slept for 3 hours after my paper just now. punyer lah shiok!

but dreadful! the weather! the higher authority is punishing us for the many sins that we have committed! the weather is just FREAKIN HOT these days. i remembered when i was in thailand last year and the sun was like DAMN HOT even when u walk in the streets u can feel the SCORCHING HOT sunlight burning your skin cells and i was thankful Singapore isnt like THAT but i spoke too soon. i swear its equally as HOT here now as it was in thailand. GAAAH. i hate pollution! i'll join rudy in his environmental rights revolusion!!!

talking bout rudy boy. HAPPY 21ST TO THE GUY WHO CALLED ME WOMAN THE FIRST TIME WE MET and im not kidding, so was he. i thought he hated me when he said "hey woman!" (i think he did) scary mary. anyways, we had a partaaayy at moomoos crib on saturday. haha moomoo ke per. adz was extraliciously nice to organize the post exam party (even tho i havent finished my exams) at his house. it was fantabulously giler. we played FAST FACTS OF THE DAY which made me laugh until i cried (whats new right aisyah?) but no seriously. rudy and iylia are the 2 most wittiest tak leh angkat smart mamats ive ever met. and i thought them how to play the infamous BABI. rudy's reaaaallllyyy bad at this game. iylia couldnt keep his mouth SHUT and izzat won lah (we should play babi more cuz thats the only time izzat can keep quiet). it was a blast :)
then i spent 17hours on sunday mugging for STATS. skipped lunch and shower cuz they take up time. hahaha.

okay doks. FREE ONLINE MOVIES here i commmeeee!!!

annoy you,
aisyah :)

the friday

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

these past few days have been an emotional roller coaster ride for me.

SHEESH KEBABS!

i cried countless of times for the silliest reasons,

and i laughed so much until i cried,

izzat's damn right-

im such a wreck!

have u watched madagascar escape 2 africa?? YOU HAVENT?!

GO WATCH. watch it after a goooooood day of mugging. you'll deserve it. trust me.

look out for motomoto. izzat dint tell me he acted in the movie.

haiz.

u cant trust guys these days can you?

hahahaha, im such an ass.

ive been annoying izzat everyday for the past 2 weeks.

we quarrel about the littlest things,

we forgive and forget the next minute,

we merajok again the next day,

make it up to each other in a while.

OMG im dating a girl!

hahaha.

i love you, sayang.

even though u were laughing not at the movie, but at me.

you were always my shoulder to cry on,
my sleeve to wipe my tears away,

literally.

muahahaha.

lets watch PS I LOVE YOU after the exams!

bring a measuring cylinder along.

u should keep a record of the amount of tears i produce in movies.

anywayyys.

talking about exams,

they're 10 days away.

and i know,

like what am i doing here right?

seriously, aisyah.

u cant blame rowing now for ur bad grades.

theres only u, urself left to blame.

sheesh.

i wish i was smart again,

like i was before.

hmph.

okay, lets not kill the mood here.

i went to smu's starry night last friday.

my first gig with izzat.

it was pretty good.

the first band kicked ass!

(sigh. still can watch gig before exams.)

(kater budak AC kan?)

hahaha.

talking about AC...

i told izzat i dont like his school cuz it reminds me of my old school.

he got so defensive sehhh.

scary mary.

we met shan and ross for a movie the other day too.

yahhh, i smsed in and won the movie tickets.

SEMANGAAAT!

i was supposed to go for the subaru challenged too.

but i wanted to give that guy a chance to win.

i havent gotten my driving license anyway.

oh, SHAN is gigantic! looook!

we watched BLINDNESS which was this really mind boggling, and twisted movie. sucks ur brain juice dry watching it.

thats why, go watch madagascar 2.

motomoto - the name's so nice, u say it twice.

HAHAHAHAHA. okay, studying makes u giler.

1st december...quick come!

WHY I SHOULD BE SLEEPING?

• cuz its 2.52am and i have to wake up at 6am later cuz coaching starts at 8am.
• and i have school from 12pm to 4pm
• and i have got to watch films after that
• then i gotta study
• which means that i need the sleep

AND WHY AM I STILL NOT SLEEPING?

• cuz i woke up at 11am today
• slept again while studying from 2pm to 4pm
• drank coffee, ate chocolate cheesecake and nasi lemak and indian rojak
• and im not sleepy but i feel that i am but im not

WHY DO I CHOOSE TO WRITE ON MY BLOG?

• cuz i havent written since i quit rowing
• and yes i quit rowing
• yes u heard that right
• aisyah finally quits
• and cuz im too lazy to facebook
• my facebook is slow. how do i delete all 2000 requests?

SO WHAT ELSE HAVE I GOT TO SAY THIS EARLY MORNING?

• i just heard the early morning birds chirp
• im gonna get eye bags for the rest of the week
• plus bloating
• i need to run, but ive been giving waaayyy too many excuses not to run, cuz im just a lazy bum, and no wonder im fat and my but is dimpled. well actually its not but its gonna be dimpled soon i can just feel it. i think.
• ive spent my hari raya collection away on daily expenses
• wait, what hari raya collection?
• i shisha-ed on sunday. and i hated it.
• ive been studying, not hard, but just studying, enough to make me feel less guilty. but for the past few tests which i studied and sat for, i did very badly for them and for those i dint study for, i did better than expected. so im quite apprehensive abt studying now.
• i regretted not studying hard for my As. which leads to bad results. not getting scholarships. paying the uni fees. and burdening my parents. but stupid thing to regret now.
• but ive never thought money will be an issue in education until now.
• shit expensive education
• i received a letter form HOTA congratulating me that ill be turning 21 soon.
• my back and shoulders have been aching for a week.
• i feel awfully old
• i hate growing up
• im tired of thinking
• i watched BLINDNESS with shan and ross, with izzat.
• i ate megabites 3 times last week.
• thus, the fat thighs.
• and my mum said i should go sleep

okay dah. BYE.

YOU
i hate it every time i have to see your face.
i hate to talk to you.
i dont hate you but im sorry,
you make me hate you.
you leave me with no choice,
to hate you or to hate seeing you.
you say things that make me so angry.
but i dont tell you these
i keep these things inside
so that when i reach home or when im alone
i can laugh them off
so they wont hurt me inside
then ill smile about it
and tell myself that its okay
ive tried my best
its okay if they dont see what ive put it
its okay if they think i suck
and that im talentless
and hopeless
as long as you know ive done your best
i think thats all that matters.
what i say wont change a thing about you.
what i say dont matter.
and there's always some bad thing that you have to say about me.
but dont take my silence as a weakness,
be grateful that i respect you as an elder
and that anytime you're gonna pass on
and make the world a better place
im sorry but hey
the truth hurts.

and you,
you of all people.
youre supposed to be my shoulder to cry on
but if you make me cry
who's shoulder should i choose?
and i have to plan early
like whom im gonna spend my 21st birthday with
when you're away
im not blaming you if you have to leave
you do what you gotta do
but im just being a nuisance
how can you stand me
are you even willing to bear with me for the rest of you life
if God permits us to be together
till the end of time

and you,
you emo momo
kanasai.
shut up
and study.
if you dont meet your goals,
who's the one who'll be crying her eyes out?
mum will think you've been playing around too much.
and stop you from doing activities
then you say no
its not the activities that make you fail
then what?
maybe youre just stupid.
but stupid people dont go to uni.
oh really?
then maybe youre just lucky to end up here.
and wasting your parents money.
and maybe its true what they say
that youre good at nothing,
except netball and rowing.
go do something about your life, pls.
before you eat worms and die.
ure so morbid.
but so is life.

maybe rowing isnt everything

they say angry people say things they dont really mean.
so maybe he didnt mean to call me a liar, to tell me that he wished he could have said GO TO HELL to me, said that i have been doing RUBBISH for him, called me a FAILURE and a NOONE.
maybe he dint mean to hurt my feelings. it was just out of anger.
maybe i wasnt hurt by his words cuz he dint mean what he said, right?

or maybe i was so damn hurt, im just telling myself that he didnt mean it.
avoiding the truth, is the best way to avoid pain.
so why the hell did i cry when it wasn't hurtful and he didnt mean what he said?

maybe you dream of becoming the best in the world one day.
and they say no dream is too big.
and they tell you to dare to dream.
they give you all these false hopes.
and then u come to realise that there will never be a chance
that you can ever achieve your dreams.
unless u make MAJOR sacrifices,
u know they're not worth making.

the say passion beats anything to keep your dreams going strong.
is it?

i dreamt to row for singapore,
and my dream was fulfilled.
my goal was to win a medal in sea games,
and last year, my wish was granted.
and now, i dream to be an Olympian,
u snort, and laugh,
and u shake your head and say "dream on",
nothing, i told myself, can stop me from achieving my dream.
and i would have killed u if u have doubts about me being able to reach that level.

until Friday, 29th August 2008,
i realised that the world is cruel,
malicious,
vicious,
unfair,
and PAINFUL.

u cant make everyone happy.
u cant get everything u want.
in fact there are times when u get nothing u want and get everything u dont.
and the truth always hurts.

on friday, 29th august,
one old man can change the lives of many.
and one old man's words can kill you slowly.
and one old man can hurt you so bad,
he shattered my dreams, my hopes, my goals.

and how the hell am i supposed to tell myself that its okay?
and maybe its not meant to be?

or tell myself that he's angry and say things he doesnt mean?
how long more do i have to layan this old man?
until he pisses the shit out of me?

cruel, cruel world.
who dares to beg to differ?

run nus

i think everyone should run along the RUN NUS 10km route at least once in their lifetime.
its okay to be masochistic once in a while.
u wont be doing this very often.
if ure ever in need of a new running route and you havent tried the RUN NUS route,
tell me.
im not a sadist.
its not that i wanna see you suffer on the treacherous uphills and downhills and the winding roads of the route.
but, i wanna see you achieve things you never thought you could,
like what i did.

Saiyidah Aisyah (30007)

Your timing is 1 hr 16 min 51 sec
You rank 13th out of 45

my FIRST 10km race;
may it not be my last.

the best is yet to be.

(the best is yet tobe keperrr.)

they say no dreams are too big,
but i realised in singapore,
unless u play tabletennis,
you can kiss the to-be-an-Olympian dream goodbye.

cruel, cruel world.
face it.

allasiacup day one.

and today i rowed in my W1X heats.
and i came in last. i wasnt tired. i didnt even try.
it was such an embarassment.
they asked me how was it, and i had to say that i was last.
it wasnt about what people think,
but about what i think.
why didnt i train?
why didnt i try?
i gave up, totally. i have nothing to hide now.
what kind of athlete, ROWER in fact, cant take pain?
who gives up easily.
who makes it so easy for the rest to beat her.
i hate myself for the race today.
i hate myself for not even trying.
and he says why am i so pessimistic,
why do i put so much unnecessary pressure on myself.
and i say, cuz im a rower.
and i cant take defeats.
if i lose, i want to lose trying.
not giving up like what i did.
even if i lose, ill make sure they have to row hard to win.

tomorrow, i shall race.
today wasnt a race.
it was disgrace.

august.

okay lousy. i havent updated for ages. look what ive gone through.

• PBM Dikir Barat Collaboration with guys.
  
  

• UNITEN Invitationals 2008- Putrajaya.
  

the four of us went - me, guillaume, freddie and syahir.

syahir and freddie rowed in the doubles.

guillaume rowed in the mens singles.and i rowed in the women singles.

and yes, we had to wear a lifejacket.

Guillaume and me won our singles races. :)

we won RM100 each and this huge trophy. the exact same one i won last year. muahaha.

it was pretty annoying travelling with these 3 boys. we stayed at the UNITEN hostel which means i had to stay alone in the girls hostel which was about 30mins walk from the guys! i dint dare sleep alone in the room so i bunked in with this UTHM girl, Hana :)

okay, yes. muker slenger sorry.

we stayed there for 4 nights but my race was only on the last day. it was quite annoying. i was suddenly appointed team manager, more like a mother with 3 annoying nak kene sepak kids. not bad, one french, one chinese and one malay eksyen angmoh.

this is the eksyen ang moh one.


oh and it was guillaume's and freddie's first time in KL so we HAD to go sightseeing and look at the petronas. exciting, yo.

and the KL komuter train is MADNESS during rush hour. singapore's morning rush is nothing compared to this! giler. now i have KL-Komuter-o-phobia.

ooh and there was the Japanese university rowing team, Shiga Uni. they absolutely love to do that, sorry i cant resist it. and i blend in quite well, dont i? muahahaha.

they are adorable! and they did this really cute dance on stage during the dinner, or somewhat a cultural performance.

the malaysians did their 'hari kebangsaan' routine. the songs and dances u see every year on tv3 druing their national day.
and nicholas. there. he surely have something to say everytime our eyes meet. always finding faults in every single thing i do. scolded me in front of everyone, so much so that im already numb to his words. called me a failure, no leadership, no initiative. what not.

sigh.



and recently,

izzat invited me to SMU's and LaSalle's Rewind.Pause.Forward. A night of hot chicks and gorgeous hunks in baju melayus of yesteryear, today and the future.

and okay, i thought we looked hot too, dont u think?

(atiqah fairus and me were swooning over Khai the DJ guy from NUS, the one who appeared in CLEO's top 50 bachelor. yes!!! that one) hahaha. sorry i dont have a picture of him. nyaha. who needs khai when uve got him?

:)

hypertension

OKAAAYYYYY im back!

my life has been pretty exciting these past few days i swear if life goes on at this rate and intensity, by the end of the month, i'll get hypertension!!!
SERIOUSLY, i wish i could just s t o p t i m e !

ERGH.
okay, like in late june, we played human foosball! me and fifi were the ONLY girls in the whole competition! how exciting! we were quite good, i have to admit that. only that guys being guys, they cant take it if a team with girls can win them so some decided to play dirty, we got kicked, slammed, (iylia got hugged by monsters), i scored a goal okay!
izzat decided that we call ourselves Sugardaddies & Saltymommies! mouthfuuul of sugar and salt, i tell youu. rudy was a damn good keeper, i have to say. rudy boyyy.
yeah, there were 10 teams, Top 8 receive cash prizes. We dint manage to get into Top 8. One Goal Away. ERGGHHHHH.
but anyways, it was realllyyyy fun. (why do u like to draaaggg your words, aisyah?)
despite getting kicked by IYLIAAA!!! omg can u imagine a guy kicking ur ankle?! it was bruised for about a week. :(



aww, dont be so sad, guys. there's always next time. i still think we deserve to win tho.

and then, there was captain's Ball competition organized by the NUS MS. with 3 netball players, 1 golfer, 1 footballer, 1 rugger and 1 softball player, how can we possibly not win?!

cash prize: $200

number of players: 7

each player receives $28.50

each player pays $12 for registration

each player makes $16.

not bad. :)

and for a team that has never trained before, and a captain who looks like she's going to bed whenever she wears her track pants, CHAMPION TEAM, bebeh.

and then comes FOC (aka NUS malay camp). i was faci with rasheilla. we named our group CICAK cuz the theme of the camp was something about refugees and surviving. the story goes like this, refugees are like cicaks, there's so many of them, the government neglects them and sometimes kills them. similar to that of a cicak's life in our house, there's so many cicak we get annoyed by them sometimes we attempt to kill them but they usually will have ways to escape from us and thus, we are survivors, like cicaks.

and yes, that was utterly mengarut.

wait, and we stand for animal rights.

RIGHT.

rash, farah, me and dannylah.

me and rash :)

telekong pictures are the best. i just couldnt help it, sorry.

and hey, look at me kick drg the silat performance. bwahaha!

hello? BEST GROUP, pls. :) :) :)

and (phew finally) last week, we had a cicak gathering at mosi where we played babi and shaheen was crowned Hajjah Babi and we were so kecoh in that small little cafe i think we chased the other customers away, but anyways, congrats to shaheen!

and on sundayyy,

the monstarz had a mini reunion at fish & co. exciting-ness :D

we met HADYYYYY!!!!! *screams*

and my best friend's looking gorgeous that night.

then we chilled at Ben & Jerrys where aj blanja-ed us ice cream!

i love adib's attempt to pose like AJ.

ERGH. love them all.

and him, especially...


okay, enough of the jiwangnesss.
and last exciting event of the month was PBM's anugerah night. (exciting?)
we were supposed to be clad in ORIENTAL clothes. but oh well, we tried.
me, fil and fiz got turned down by 3 cabs on our way out.
very exciting.




okays, thats all i guess. i havent trained for the Run NUS. i havent trained for my rowing race in KL in bloody 2 weeks. im fat, i give lots of excuses and im broke.

exciting month? totally.

DIVA and you

STORIES OF LIFE

hahahaha.

MENGARUT.

ok,

story #01

one hot sunny day, a mat and minah jiwang decided to go to the beach.

they had so much work to do but they chose to lepak at the beach.

(warning: they are not your normal mat and minah. they are not jiwang. they are just pretending.)

(more warning: photos might be disturbing. they can be annoyingly slenger nak mampos. and ultra jiwang it might get u started on singing, "RINDUUUUUU RINDUUUU SERINDU RINDUNYAAAAAAAAA...")

then mat pilates and the minah yoga thought it would be cool to pose with the MAT they brought. (the mat stole his house carpet)


and i think they make postcard-picturesque pictures. dont u think so?

then they went to meet Charlie at his workplace which was so far away it felt like they had to travel to another island just to meet Charlie. they talked about business. (see i told u they were pretending to be a mat and minah. they have very important things to talk about and settle.)

moral of the story: dont judge a book by its cover.

a malay couple lepaking at sentosa might not be your typical mat and minah, well not most of the time.

story #02

one day,

a group of 5 girls met at boon lay mrt station at 7.30am.

for some it was their first time meeting each other.

aisyah knew everyone.

syafiqah knew 3 people.

meizhen and sha knew 2.

and haryati only knew me.

it was amazing how a group of girls who were almost strangers to each other, never trained together before, and hardly plays soccer come together to form a soccer team and got into the Top 8 of the Diva La Futbol Cup.

i think we're either lucky or just too good.

i think its the latter. :)

this was the results for our first round. we were bottom 3 (was it on purpose? hmmm) and went on to fight our way for the Diva La Cup.

We beat Nanyang Whoosh (a school team) through a penalty shootout where i was the keeper (SERIOUSLY) and meizhen and sha scored 2 and i saved 2. :) :) :)

then we got into the Top 8 and i let in a stupid goal. boo :(

but oh well, we went that far, and so close to the cup. i was telling fifi, we must get top 3 before we grow old(er) and cant play any more! InsyaAllah :)

and we are so garang tak jadi! muahahaha!

so when we lost we weren't sad at all considering the fact that we NEVER trained, got bullied when me and fifi played with the mats at the neighbourhood soccer courts, and just knew each other on that day itself. then, we played volleyball on a bouncing platform (aka BOSSABALL). it was daaaaaamn fun.


we simply couldnt stop bouncing!

and i think this was the best picture of the day.

anything can, huh? :D

then i went over to Bukit Batok CDANS Chalet where my sec3/4 class had a bbq. there was so much food, i called izzat and friends over for dinner.

and liyana and me got addicted to Wii. :D

<3

moral of the story: have fun before term starts.
dah.

LOVE you, especially the people in the photos above! :)

and welcome back, ama.
and shaheen, faster come back.

everyone's overseas.
when's my turn? :(