things that piss the shit out of me.

1.
life is cruel. dont we all know that already. but life has been so unfair and utterly awful that i cant stand not doing anything about it. something needs to be done to set things right. so apparently from the "oh my! you dont win any money?" comments i received on facebook following the win of my two bronze medals, i have just recently found out that not many know about the miserness of our govt, or maybe perhaps, its just the ignorance of our citizens.

eitherway, its true: THERE IS NO PRIZE MONEY FOR BRONZE AND SILVER MEDALLISTS IN SEA GAMES.

i can double confirm that because with 3 bronze medals hanging on my bedroom wall from the SEA Games, i have yet to receive any cheque from the govt for my wins. what i did receive though, was a computer generated letter from the Olympic Council, congratulating me on my win. very sincere. i am honoured.
sometimes, when i think about it, i tell myself, "stop complaining, bitch. you got what you asked for. you wanted this path in life. so shut up and live on." but then again, why should i let myself be in a disadvantaged position when i put in the same effort, if not more, than the gold medallists in training, and in competition.
come on, tell me which other sport in singapore trains twice a day, 6 days a week, 4 hours each day, and dont get paid a single cent? and dont even let me start comparing to the atheltes from other countries, even third world countries like our dear friends from indonesia and vietnam and myanmar, for goodness sake, receives prize money for their bronze and silver medallists. why cant we? a bronze in swimming would probably be seen as less of a winner as compared to a gold medallist. a silver in water polo would be considered a disaster. but a bronze in rowing, is in fact, a feat. you cant compare rowing to bridge. you just cant. its unfairness in all levels, my God. and what makes them think that by not giving the bronze and silver medallists money, people will strive more for Gold. are these people who set these criteria even athletes?and i truly apologize for my ignorance if they were at some point of time athletes, but considering the fact that they show so much of their appreciation to the non-gold medallists with a piece of letter, it tells so much about them, doesnt it? as an athlete, im sure a thousand other people in the right set of mind would agree with me, we will always strive for the best, for Gold. i participate in non-prize money-medal games like the SEARF and Asian Champs and I will always be aiming for Gold. noone would be stupid enough to not strive for Gold just because there is still a prize money set on winning Silver or Bronze. and what makes you think those who didnt win Gold didnt put in as much effort as those who did. like i mentioned earlier, do you think the Bronze medallist in rowing hasnt been putting as much effort as the Gold medallist in Bridge? seriously?

YES I KNOW MONEY IS NOT EVERYTHING. but when youre the athlete who wins the bronze and you see all these hoohaas about the gold medallists and the money they get and you know that you have definitle put in more effort than them considering the nature of the sport that you do and thats not all. later, you find out that your fellow counterparts from the neighbouring countries receives cash although they won the same colour medal as you. if you havent been in that position, then i dont think you will ever understand the pain that you have to bear. MONEY ISNT EVERYTHING. but if someone hands you RM6k, would you turn it down? thats the przie money for a Bronze medal in Malaysia, btw. i just dont understand why Singapore, being a first world country can afford to pay thousands to student athletes but havent gotten the heart to support professional athletes who spend their lives training to bring up the name of the country in their field of sport.

2.
sometimes the lesser you know, the better. sometimes living in delusion can save you from hurt and disappointment. and almost all the time, its better to just keep your mouth shut.

some people talk too much, a quintessential display of an empty vessel makes the most noise.

what i have learnt from these experiences i have gained from rowing so far: champions dont complain. theyre too busy focusing on making themselves better. so some people definitely need to apply this lesson in life, before they drown in their own sea of words.

and really, most of the time, talking about certain individuals in your life doesnt bring anyone or anything any benefit at all. its a waste of breath and precious time. so let these people say what they want to say. i cant be bothered anymore.

---

so yes the three of us (Nadzrie, Joanna and I) got terribly sick during our trip to Jakarta for the Games. it was awful, there was so much of purging and migranes and fever going on even the coach almost lost hope in us. it was the worst that could happen to any athlete competing in any major games. but the best we could do was to recover as fast as possible. and honestly, it was a strangely exciting experience. we couldnt have emerged better athletes if not for that downfall that we had to go through.

and for the record, getting sick is not a sign of irresponsibility, it was a challenge God threw at us to make us not take things for granted, and an opportunity to become stronger, not only physically but mentally. it was this obstacle that we had to pass to test our courage and determination and how much we wanted to race for each other. if one of us got sick and the other didnt, we wouldnt understand how miserable the other was feeling. if neither of us got sick, we wouldnt know how strong we were. things happen for a reason. irresponsibility was the last of all reasons.

3.
starhub oh starhub. why are you friggin irritating. firstly you didnt remind me to renew my plan and charged me for what was given to me free of charge since i ever subscribed to you. then you made me pay $600 upfront telling me that the remaining would be waivered off. and now 4 months down the road, nothing has changed and i still have to pay what i shouldnt be paying for. youre the bane of my life, i swear.