Fear.

It's scary how fast time flies. Today we're already leaving. Monday we're racing. And come Thursday, it'll all be over.
It's scary how life works in ways a human being find it hard to phantom sometimes. Today I walked out of home, said Hi to my neighbor who asked me where I was heading to, work? And I just nodded in convenience not wanting to stand any longer in front of him being clouded in smoke. Then I took the bus and then the train. And now I'm sitting in the train like the other commuters around me, minding their own business, each with their own thoughts inside their heads, each with their own problems and struggles to face in their daily lives. Exams, school, tight deadlines, horrible bosses, marriage, work. And then you thought to yourself, wow, I'm actually on my way to Nadzrie's house to get my bag and then his parents are sending us off to the airport. And unlike any other trips people make around the world, for business, for leisure, for sports, today I am flying to Jakarta for the SEA Games. I mean, for real. Right now I'm sitting here like any other normal human being but with a responsibility on my shoukders so heavy if I'm not strong enough I'll just crumble under the pressure of wanting to win. I am actually going to be in another country representing my nation and being out there to win. And what I do know is that no one in this train's going to take over that responsibility. No one knows how it feels to work so hard for this last stretch. Maybe one or two have had experience being an athlete and playing the game of their lives. But nothing could explain this experience I'm about to gain. I've been through 2 sea games. This is not like a practice paper where the more you do the better you get at it. It's one shot. No rehearsals.
I chose this path in life. I could have gotten it easy to just stay in my job. I could have chosen an easier sport. But who wantsrowing is what I did. Rowing is what I chose. I've made this choice. Live with it.
And while I'm living it, might as well I do my best in it :)