tuesday: went to school for my kids bcuz i wanted to prep them for their upcoming test, but instead they gave me hell. i was coughing incessantly, others would have thought i could just drop and die, spreading germs everywhere i go. my sore throat worsened it hurts to talk and as a teacher you dont talk, you shout. got so mad at my classes for making me shout at them i made them run extra rounds, and this boy from my geog class was still able to ask me to speak louder. rude. he received a good scolding from me for being rude and insensitive. felt feverish the whole day, so i decided to visit another doctor. found out that i had fever 38.3 degrees, and a throat infection, thus my voice sounded like a man which Nadz happily made fun of throughout the whole day. paid $60, discounted $10 for being a public servant, received another 5 types of meds, received MC for 2 days and the first thing i thought about was the test my kids were supposed to sit for on thursday.
wednesday: stayed at home, rested, fever went down but my throat was still sore and there were infinite phlegms in my nose and throat. ran some errands in the day, sick and all, because im just that stubborn. period.
thursday: found out that i was supposed to inform my HODs if im not in school but i didnt because i conveniently assumed that they know i wasnt around.
biggest mistake in any situation: making assumptions.
didnt manage to inform the school in the morning before 650am because at 650am i was still fast asleep because i drowned myself with 8 different kinds of pills and cough syrups the night before, thus the woozy feeling up in my head right now. didnt set work for my classes either because honestly i didnt know what my PE classes could do when im not around. sitting here on my bed, feeling like shit, regretting the fact that i should be in school being there for my kids sitting for the test, and then i wonder what difference does it make to them whether im there or not. and then it made me realise that i actually care for them and it makes me feel good for a moment that i am a good teacher. and the next moment, feel bad because im not in school, for them. which is stupid because i do have a reason for not being in school, im on MC, i was really sick, its not like i like being sick or i get MC for the sake of skipping school because right now theres no reason for me to fake MC and being sick means i cant train and everyone knows how itchy my butt will get when i dont exercise and ive been retraining myself from doing any physical activity because i really wanna get well asap. i ran a total of 24km last week and NONE this week and i feel so shitty i swear i could go cold turkey from not exercising i'd just die.
so why am i feeling the guilt for not being in school?
bodoh siolz.
job opportunities still waiting for me to pounce on them.
im 22 and wrecked.
i know i enjoy my job but i just dont see myself doing it for the longest time.
or is it just me telling myself that, over and over again?
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