a$$

okay so you see i was supposed to write this entry as a comeback for someone's really smart ass blog entry which i do not wish to share here (well not yet i guess, not now) and writing a comeback for it requires an angry mood to set the tone right unfortunately im nowhere near angry at this moment.
im feeling more of BLEARGH.
like a mixture of lethargy and sloth and laziness and procrastination.
nothing of anger. nope.

but oh well lets just see how it goes. let me tell you about my day first.
its 12:48pm.and im at home. AHHH THE LIFE.
i've been home about an hour? an hour plus? or 2 probably? i dont know. as usual, ive lost track of time.
i havent eaten lunch, which explains the inefficeincy of my brain. im hungry but im too lazy to cook up a meal or even order something online. i'm officially one with my bed since i got home.
and talking about my bed, it was infested by bed bugs recently, okay infestation is an exaggeration but i was bitten like a piece or meat on a kebab skewer. when i was in korea, mum called me to say that she'll be sleeping on my bed cuz she has been getting bed bug bites. i think she brought some of those tiny little devils over to my bed! the first night i slept at home, i started to itch, i thought they were mosquitoes but my room never had mozzies! because of that i had to wash my mattress cover siols. stupid bed bugs.
and for the past three nights i have been having problems sleeping at night. sleeping after training in the day, taking my usual daynaps as and when i can doesnt seem to have a problem but i take like 2 hours to fall asleep and it has been irritating me. is this what insomnia is? im worried like hell i dont know why. i dont like my sleep to be taken away by awful disorders. im gonna see a doctor for this today. im a wreck i swear. i can never be free from all these pain and disorders and injuries. from one to another. gaah.
okay so yes, training today was, SHORT. MUAHAHAHHAH (sarcastic evil laughter).
no seriously, coach said, "todays training gonna be short but intensive." and he meant every word he said. MY GOD. although short means minus 2k off our usual mileage, it was really draining, i swear. the sun was being alittle nice today. thank GOD. but the pieces were crazy. Masyaallah. We survived it.
that brought me back to what happened a few weeks before my sea games in 2005. here's some excerpt from what i wrote 6 years ago:

Tuesday Nov 1 2005
one more month and thats it maaaan. i'll be out of this camp, i get to go out wherever i want, whenever i want, i dont have to sleep thinking of training the next morning, i dont have to wake up to train at 4.30am anymore, i dont have to limit my shopping time so that i can report back to camp for training. whoa~ i dont have to sleep with lizards and rats and mosquitoes and flying things of all sorts.
yea, one more month. training's getting more intense. we're suffering alot more to the extent that im actually feeling numb already. we go tru a cycle : train, eat, sleep, wake up, and train again. ahhh!!! am i losing my feelings? my emotions? hah. paranoid.
*slaps*

Tuesday Nov 15 2005
yep. firstly, one more week to my departure to manila. yep down to a mere one week. from 7 months to one week. ergh. one blardy hellish week. hah. yea. get the point dontya?
secondly, trainings getting tougher by the day. but my partner's having her o levels so i will be training alone most of the time. going down on the single sculls. damn. i hate rowing alone. the guys will always leave me behind. ergh.
Monday Dec 5 2005
been there. done that.
yep. the sea games are over. which means. my training camp days are over. no more morning weight lifting sessions. no more after school training programmes. no more bunking out with my fellow rowers. no more of all that. honestly, from the bottom of my heart. i miss it all. yea.

OMG MY LIFEIS ON REPEAT MODE OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

except that this time round my partner postponed her A levels and we'vegot all the time in the world to train in our pairs to beat the shit out of our competitors and bring home a medal Singapore Rowing hasnt won since 1993 ;)

even jo said today, "I've gone crazy about this winning thing."
That's my girl, right there.

CANT WAIT. but all these trainings have been a pain in the ass OH WELL. tough times doesnt last but tough people do, yea?

:)

and since we're on this topic of achievements are doing great things, my friend whom i havent seen for MILLIONSOFGODYEARS recently won a K-pop competition and she's going to Korea end of this year to represent singapore. Maressa Zahirah. thats the girl you have to watch out for. she has inspired me to dream big. and work towards your goals. stories that make you go Awwwww. that reminds me i havent seen her for ages and the rest of the gang. its scary how one twist of events lead to a broken chain of friendships. SCARY.

OKAY. training in about 4 hours. DREAM BIG bebeh. <3