i was talking to this senior online, this is what he said:
"silat pulak dah rowing, silat pulak why can't you just sit still now you're injured, you're not happy right? you like the lifestyle you're in now ah, getting injured, getting blisters on palms, going for ops? don't you want to take a back seat in life, and do some other stuffs instead?"

i dont know what to say.

---

i forgot how it feels like to have a fever. if i remember correctly, last i was down with fever was way back in sec3/4-ish, the only thing i could remember clearly was that my fever was so bad, KKH made me shower in ice water.

and now im heating up. i dont know if it still works but im putting a towel soaked in ice cold water on my head. i mean, if im still able to type this it means that its not so bad right? i dont have a thermometer at home. so much for having a paramedic in the house.
the grogginess is gone, Alhamdullilah. its just the flu and cough thats annoying me. if they persist, i doubt i can go tru surgery tmr.

yes, surgery is scheduled to take place tmr morning at sgh.
i have to stay over one night to get subsidised rates, if i choose not to, i have to pay $7k in cash.
im not looking forward to anything.
i just wish that i hadnt had gone for that silat trng on 23rd dec. but thats just stupid.
im gonna brood/cry/whine/complain/sulk/whatever, i know.
just bear with me, will you.

so, what made me sick?
nak menang punyer pasal.
we had this mini olympic games on tuesday at NTU.
NTU is far. like bloody FAR.
i was late cuz i had an appt with my surgeon that morning. i took a cab from SGH to NTU and it cost me $20. it was THAT far.
when i reached NTU i thought i was in johor, until i saw a group of chinese people, i changed my mind. it wasnt johor, its china.
the weather these days has been confusing. like seriously, MAKE UP YOUR MIND. do u want it to be scorching, burn my face HOT or drizzle-rain-wind blow-shivering COLD. and the best thing was that on tuesday, we played in the hot sun -heavy drizzle weather. 4 out of 5 of my teammates fell sick, including me. yeah the weather in ntu-china made me have fever for the first time in 3/4 years.

other than that,
we won the games.
it was a good win cuz we almost lost dodgeball to the team that got 2nd place.
they were hell good at dodgeball, finally some competition, eh?
i have to admit we suck at dodgeball, we're just lucky.
but sorry captain's ball is just our forte.
so yeah, we brought home a medal and cert, and flu/fever virus from ntu-china.

and aisyah being aisyah dint want to sit still and stay at home,
went swimming with the Tjunct girls on wednesday.
again it felt like i was in another country, somewhere in jurong west, where confused weather prevails.
it was hot, im burnt now (again) then it drizzled, then hot, then cold.

and tada,
2 days of ntu-china and jurongwest-jb weather,
im down with fever/flu/cough.
it was so bad during arab class, my mind just went blank for like a few minutes. it was scary. like i said, i forgot what it fels like to be really sick. and of all the time in the world, i chose to be sick this week.

and if i still feel like SHIT like this,
they'll have to postpone my surgery.

oh and its friday alr tmr.
i havent done a single school work.
whats wrong with me?