here's the thing.
i almost forgot-

Assalammualaikum.

yes. the thing is. i cant wait for my surgery, but i dont want it to happen, now that i can walk normally. but if u look at my legs long enuf, if u have nothing better to do, and if u think tree trunks are nice to look at, u can actually see the huge difference in size between my right and left leg! my physio told me that when the ligament tears, the body automatically shuts down the entire leg thus muscles not working as much, and body tends to depend on my uninjured leg more. its kinda pretty tho, my legs, they look like they belong to 2 different ppl. kinda cool. i told my physio why dont u kick my other leg so they'll be equally smaller.

and why i cant wait for the surgery is because i want to get it done and over with ASAP so i can start playing again.
u have no friggin idea how much i want to play all sorts of things. God! soccer, netball, run, RUN, RUN, SOCCER, NETBALL, SILAT, RUN, gaaah!!!
if i had the chance to change one thing, i would want to ban everyone from playing all sorts of sports until i am able to play again. but thats just stupid and selfish.
but taking the bus across the NUS field almost everyday to travel from arts to eat at megabites make me feel like ERGH.
im such a loser sia.
grow up.

i was browsing tru my 'old' pics when i was young and healthy and not injured.
i miss soccer,
and my long hair.

ok dah. im tired of complaining.

but, if i dont complain,
ive got nothing to say.

bye.

HAHAHA.
lets attempt to talk about the rainbows, and the sun, and the bright lovely day.
i cant think of any.

i watched a hall production last night. it was supposed to be an abstract play on love, lies and life. something like that and u know im not an avid fan of "things that require you to think" thus it wasnt really my kind of stuff. id rather watch kusumawangi again and get scared again. thats why its a malay production- not much thinking required, cater to the audience. know thy kind, bebeh.

oh and i went to the UHWC for the first time since the pre-admission health check. i have had this persistent cough for 2 weeks so i finally decided to not be stubborn and trod my way to YIH to visit the doctor. the doctor was awfully rude. but okay i paid $5 for everything so i guess he knows how much he's worth thus the lousy attitude. so that night i told fairuz that if he were to become a doctor someday, well he is anyway, dont be like that. its just awful.

but when i went to the sgh private clinic for my consultation with the knee surgeon, i thought i would have received better service but he was the same! i had to pay $85 to see this surgeon's face who dint even face me, dint smile. come on and for like 2mins, he ripped $85 off my mum's pocket. and oh apparently i wasnt given a choice so i was immediately given private class which means i have to pay $5000 on day of surgery which made my mum blew her top so surgery's pretty much not settled yet.

and school oh school's getting busier by the day. the presentations, the sunday 8am meetings in sch (yes, tmr, mind you- SUNDAY MORNING 8am SCHOOL), the tests, this and that, the wobbling knee, the flights and flights of stairs in NUS, whenever i climb the stairs in school, i wonder how im gonna do the same after surgery.

oh the rehab guy made me do 100 one legged (injured leg) squats and 1-min wall squats that day and i almost died. my pantat still throbs in pain.
and he reminded me that what im going tru now will be nothing compared to what i will go tru aft the surgery. i dont know if i should laugh, or cry.

or just not think about it.