• There is blunting of the body and the anterior junction of the medial meniscus suggestive of free edge tearing or fraying.
• There is increased signal in the medial collateral ligament suggestive of intraligamentous sprain injury.
• There are focal areas of abnormal bone marrow signal suggestive bone contusions along the medial aspect of the medial femoral condyle, the sulcus terminalis of the lateral femoral condyle and along the posterior aspect of the proximal tibia.
• There is a moderate joint effusion.
• There is complete rupture of the anterior cruciate ligament.

reason #2958 why i dont take science.

and reason #2 why i should have.

THATS MY KNEE THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT. and all i know is that its in bad, bad, bad, bad shape.

the physio guy laughed when he saw my mri scan report. i said it wasnt funny. :(

the rehab guy said its not the worst case, it could have been worse, its not the end of the world. he added that i should just stick to rowing. no soccer, no silat, no cycling. just rowing. i laughed.

the doctor said if i want to continue with my active lifestyle i must go for surgery. if not, i can only stick to sports that dont require me to turn, jump, run. if i go for surgery, complete recovery takes 9 months.

i was imagining an aisyah without netball, soccer, silat, running, jumping.

i cant.

i was brooding the whole friggin day yesterday. ive read hundreds of stories of athletes who've went tru various surgeries, some worst than mine, and still succeed in the future, as an athlete or not. im not ready to start an inspirational story of my own. im not prepared for this. im still sportless now. this is bad, just bad.

and the year just friggin started.

first the break up, now the knee.

i wonder what else 2009 has in store for me.