new year, new you.

That phrase reminds me of a project I intended to start last January which made me sign up as a trainer at the People's Association so I can hold sports and wellness classes at community centres. So much for talking but no action. Well, I did became a PA trainer, but I havent conducted any classes. :(

This year, I want to make sure I do one thing I havent got the chance to do last year. TO MAKE THINGS HAPPEN. Im tired of sitting around, complaining, and having plans to do this and that and everything else but in the end nothing comes out of it. cheap talk. im tired of all that shit. so if theres one more thing i would like to add to my new year resolution, that is to get things done.

I must be awesome at my job.
Yes. My job! Work hasnt been hectic, YET. I know its gonna pick up speed like madness because I see my colleagues do their stuff and im like WHOA, im gonna die.
my job entails of being advisors to sports clubs, conducting sports and wellness classes, sitting at my desk settling paper work (AND CRAZY LOADS OF IT) and more. but the fun part is the sporty culture that my dept adopts whereby they would play sports together every fortnight. last week we played captains ball and it was crazy competitive but fun.
I wanna be awesome at my job. I wanna make a difference to people's lives, the school, the kids. But I have a major problem that is worrying the shit out of me right now.
To think about it its not a major problem, its SOME major problems.

Major Problems:

1. Rowing.
My trainings have been infrequent these days. I feel weak and slow on the boat. We still have to use the club boats which suck. I miss feeling light and strong and fast when Im rowing but my performance level has definitely dropped to ZERO after the SEA Games. This year, the association's gonna send me for the Asian Olympic Qualifiers which is definitely a huge thing! to qualify I have to be top 6 in Asia which isnt within my reach at the moment. i have to be honest with myself. i havent been trng intensively, my knee and ankle have been causing me so much pain. im not at my peak. but i have to remind myself, this year is the year i MAKE THINGS HAPPEN. i am gonna do whatever it takes to be at my best for the qualifiers. even if it means having to train at 430am.
Actually, i wanted to ease off training a little this year because i wanted to really focus on my job and do really well in it. but when i dont row, i feel that my life isnt fulfilled. i feel something amiss. so, here i am, declaring that i will never ever give up rowing for anything. if possible, i will be awesome at both rowing and my job. i will work something out somehow. impossible is nothing, right?
Thankfully, my boss is understanding. He's an athlete too. We'll see how things go from here. Insyaallah it will all go fine. :)

2. Sailing
If you dont know yet, I have been sailing with the national team. Okay it might only be 2 trainings but my goodness that sport is tough shit. Not as tough as rowing but it requires a totally different set of skills. My partner spotted me at SSC when I was gymming and she needed a partner to train with for the 2016 Olympics. my goal. On the first day of sailing, I fell into the water and hit my hip on the boat while it was going at full speed. I have a huge bruise which still hasnt faded away completely. And it has already been a month. Second training, I got better. But theres so many bruises on my shins. Sailing was fun and I think the chances of me getting into Olympics through sailing is better than rowing but NSC is bloody far, my God. and they train in the afternoons when the winds are the strongest. Which is definitely not a rower's life because by afternoon, we would be done wiht training and its our rest period.
So its definitely a totally different sport and I want to go all out for it to be really good in it. That why, its Major Problem #02.
What if it comes to a point where I have to choose between rowing and sailing?
I'll just die.

3. Bloco
It has always been in my TO-DO list: to learn a new instrument. And my chance is here. Nadz's sister has asked me if I wanted to play with Bloco and I really want but their trainings are FAR and at night, which is usually either my training period or mush needed rest period. but i really dont wanna miss this chance to learn, for free. and Bloco's really awesome.
sigh.

there's too much going on is there?
somethings gonna change.
it must be rearranged, oh.

hahaha!

okay, on a serious note. theres too little time in a day to fulfill all my dreams and desires. and i cant be awesome at everything. or can i? ;0

ridiculous. sigh. this is hard. i wish they'd just pay me to row. then i dont have to worry about anything at all. :(