Angsty Day.

omg its been forever since i updated my blog. been busy, as usual. (wah kerek, serious. cannot take it.)
SO MANY THINGS TO TELL YOU LETS GIST IT IN 10 POINTS.

1. ive been reading my previous entries not cuz i have nothing better to do. cuz my life feels like its on repeat mode. let me recall-

2007: met with a stupid bicycle accident. no rowing for 3 weeks. whining. lost so much weight that i looked skinny like hell. SEA GAMES (woohoo) bronze.

2009: ACL. and growing fat. and whining- lots of it. dah, that would summarize my 2009 well.

2011: acl surgery in 17 days (I KNOW RIGHT OMG) + wisdom teeth surgery. no rowing for i dont know how long. can forsee myself whining. alot. missing training. losing weight. SEA GAMES this year. ZOMG. and and and reading my past entries has given me some sort of inspiration to continue rowing. i mean, if i was 19 and i could have done all those shit, it would be much easier now. right? right.

2. YES im going for 2 surgeries in mid april, 1. to remove the screw in my knee 2. to remove my wisdom teeth. what an exciting way to celebrate my birthday I KNOW I CANT WAIT. hopefully the screw + 4 teeth would weigh around like 2kg so i dont have to worry so much abt my weight then.

3. knee has been causing me lots of pain and tears. been crying for almost all my trainings cuz im such a wuss and a loser. and yes i know im stubborn. I ADMIT IT OKAY. especially when it comes to erging OMG WHY DO THOSE MACHINES EVEN EXIST MY GOD. coach says that the toughest thing i could do is to stop when my knee hurts. he's right :(

4. we have a new club coach who's like 190+cm towering over us like a giant! and his sidekick who's like 150+cm (okay bedek) and they've been helping us alot alot alot. :)

5. OH YES I QUIT TEACHING. last day was on 31 march. so proud of myelf to have taken that big leap omg im crazy i know even raihan agrees. but you gotta do what you gotta do. cant imagine myself waking up doing things i dont like such as seeing some people's faces i dont like. HAHAHA IM SUCH A LOSER OMG. but teaching was an awesome experience. i realised that i cant make kids pass their test but i can make them love me. i miss them, although they may be annoying and ive never really spend a day in school not screaming at them. AND YES I MISS TEACHING. not the other stuff like chasing kids for work or taking attendance or all those shit. just teaching :)


6. ive been training full-time oh yeah! getting so tanned and tired but i like. training for the only thing that matters- that gold. GO AISYAH!

7. I NEED TO FIND A JOB! i know i cant stand the fact that all these surgeries and consultation fees and travelling and eating and what nots is costing me SO MUCH MONEY I SWEAR ITS SUCKING ME DRY. :( okok must not be lazy to find jobs. but with the surgeries coming up and the competitions i have no friggin idea how im gonna cope but you know what IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING bebeh.

8. upcoming japan lightweight (omg i wanna go for this but i have like 5kg to shed in like 2 months, it only means one thing STARVE) so unhealthy siolz. i dont wanna lose the strength. like recently being able to beat yr bf on water feels like the best thing on earth (yes, i know it was slow pieces but still! gimme chance just this once to make me feel happy k?) next competition is the asia cup which will determine if i go to SEA Games or not- how freaking scary shit is that?

9. today, ive learnt alot about trust. ive learnt that you should never do things to others what you dont want others to do to you. always always always remind myself that. cuz karma is a crazy thing, really.

10. last thing i would like to say is that, "if it aint pain, it aint love"

DAH BYE BESOK TRAINING PUKUL 7 PAGI WOOHOO.