whats there to hide?
i was a cheater.
i was a liar.
its not that im proud of it.
im brutally honest,
that u must know.
ive had a bad past.
ive learnt to change.
i had been cheated on.
i had been lied to.
my life wasnt perfect.
my life isnt perfect.
i was an athlete.
i dream to be one again.
im nothing without sports,
u know that.
u just wont tell it to my face.
im tired of people being nice and lying to me.
ive been very, very patient with my injury.
the fever and deadly coughs are not making my life any better.
its gonna pass soon, i know.
its gonna take long, that i know too.
God is testing my patience.
Im grateful i have some to spare.
I would have died if i had given up hopes.
Im weak.
I dont trust anymore.
I dont think i'll fall in love anytime soon.
But i will learn to love again,
one day,
InsyaAllah.
My heart has gone through the toughest shit,
the most painful crap.
I dont want it to get beaten up
and shattered again.
letting go was the hardest thing i had to go thru,
apart from the stupid acl surgery.
first it was bcuz our religions disagree with one another,
then our mums dont approve of us.
whats next?
i cant wait.

i have dreams to achieve,
which i dont know if its even possible for me to achieve.
but they say,
if u dont believe in urself, who will?

he wasnt willing to go tru my dreams with me,

aim for something more rational, he says.

and, i was willing to wait for him, even if he took a decade.

noone doubts aisyah.

aisyah will prove them wrong.

im only 21.
or is it, im already 21?

i plan to travel the world,
change the world, if i can.
but its already so hard for me to change a person,
and i dream of changing the world.
who am i kidding.

maybe,
its just not meant to be.
it took me months to forget him.
yea, months.
thats how long ive been waiting to resume my life, too.
if it wasnt for faith, i would have gone mad.

Ive went through pain, not any 21 yr old would have gone through.
and now i've become stronger,
I hope.

now u know me.
what makes u think u can handle me?