Seven things.

It's the first day of puasa and I'm already dying. Omg I'm so weak and lousy at this omg I should just shut up to save me from all the sins I get my when my mouth opens. Okay let's try to keep the blog post today clean, in respect of this holy month.

1. I'm listing things down cuz it makes things look more organized. Unlike my life and my bank account and my room and my brain. All. Messed. Up.
Okay suker hati kau.
2. Let's talk about training. Training has been meh-normal. Somewhat exciting at times like when my oars got stuck in a fishing line and nadzrie chased some banglas away and we explored new parts of the kallang river. while most of the times it can be a lil bit tiring. Which is stupid of me to say that cuz if trainings are not tiring then I shouldn't even be called a national athlete. I don't mind the lethargy i get after training which is supposed to mean that i have put in alot of effort in training. The most dreadful thing is the part after training when I have to head to work. and then there's training again in the evening. I am not complaining, just stating facts. That's what makes it bloody tiring. That middle part of the day when I'm supposed to be resting but I need to earn some income to support my expenses thus I work and my work isn't those kinds in which I come to office sit down shake leg. I gotta stand, teach these kids how to play Netball or how to play this sport or that sport and scream at kids who don't listen to you and all these expenses large amounts of energy so by the time second training ends I'm as good as a dead cow.
But I shall not complain. Well, I try to most of the time. The rest of the time I just bottle up all my anger and get mad at everything around me, and since Nadzrie is always around me I always get mad at him for absolutely no apparent reason and sometimes I feel stupid and lousy and Im sorry :(
3. That being said it's almost 9 months we've been together. There was a number of times that we quarreled, saying things we don't mean to each other, most of the times me saying things to him cuz I'm ridiculous when I'm angry. Me being the fragile one, absolutely over possessive and insecure and jealous. Oh god I'm such a girl. And we quarrel about the smallest most random things i swear. Like how stubborn i am when i still train even though my knee feels like its gonna tear. But yeah there was this once I was so mad at him for two days and that's a rare occurrence cuz usually I'll get mad for about an hour or two or longest, a whole day and I would wake up feeling better. But that day, I thought I'd sleep away the stupid feeling but I woke up still feeling like shit. So okay, for the benefit of those who share the same bgr problem as we do, here's what happened:
So my boyfriend has a girl crush on this girl who does exist in real life but he has never met her before and she would probably have no idea whatsoever of his existence. And I know there are millions of guys out there who has the same feeling for her. And she's one of those girls who look hot with clothes on. Yes I agree she is hot, no doubt. So hot i am ridiculously jealous! So I saw her photo on his wallpaper and I got really insecure and I refused to talk to him for two days. YES I KNOW IM A CRAZY RIDICULOUS PLEASE WOULD SOMEONE JUST SLAP MY FACE BITCH. Thinking about it, i was stupid and stupid is definitely an understatement. I have no idea how this boyfriend of mine could bear being with me omg. And amazing thing is, he stood next to me all the time despite me being so mad at him and not talking to him. How can I ever not love him, you tell me?
And yes, that girl I'm talking about is Emma Watson.
I know you'd s wanna kill me right now.
4. I'm having a boy crush on Captain America's Chris Evans cuz he's hot nak mampos. But I dont know. I think I've grown out of all this boy crushes cuz I find my bf hotter and I feel like I'm having a crush on him everyday. Am I weird?
5. Okay so I was supposed to go holland for a training camp next week and thereafter travel to Slovenia for world champs but the association couldn't afford because of the budget and so I dont know what's the conclusion now. Right now I just wanna train, become better and win medals for sea games and yes that brings me to no 5.
6. IVE BEEN SELECTED FOR SEA GAMES! which was pretty much quite expected since we won medals for the previous competition. So the team was supposed to consist of me, Jo, nadz and Shaun but Shaun got kicked out cuz he had been coming late for training, then there were some hoohaas about him being booted out and the association wasn't happy with the coach's decision and all that stuff that I'm too lazy to write oh terrible teammate/rower/person but I'm a bit tired now I don't wanna care, for now.
(at is point my stomach just grumbled and it reminded me that i haven't eaten. 2 more hours to buka.)
7.I'm broke its sad and scary at the same time. Sad cuz I'm broke. Scary cuz I'm broke. Okay u get what I mean. Even my savings are like NIL. I guess this is the sacrifice I have to live with. Honestly as much as I want to train I kinda miss working and earning.
I'm done for now. I just hope I'm going the right direction. Insyaallah.