of lying and getting hurt;

sometimes i wonder if there's a limit to how much a person can cry.
can u really get blind by crying too much?
im worried.
my eyes friggin hurt from too much unnecessary crying.
and they get swollen and red.
and the pain stings.

and when your face is burnt.
and when the tears start rolling down your cheeks.
its like getting a double whammy.
not a good thing.

sometimes, some people are just not worth your tears.
i've come to realise that.
its about time huh.
oh well.

people around me are getting attached.
people i used to date are getting engaged.
no, im not jealous.
not at all.
i dont want to get attached or engaged,
not now.
im happy for them. i really am :)

i just wonder why do i have to go tru so much pain for,
for something i dont even know i can get at the end of this struggle.
and i dont know why im still here fighting,
when i can call it quits anytime i want.

lying is a bad habit.
when u start,
u cant stop.
it goes on and on and on.

i dont even remember lying to you.
i dont think i ever did.
not to say im an angel,
i know the things i say scar you.
but i dont lie to you.
its one thing ive stopped doing,
even after what u did to me.
because i know how much pain is caused when someone lies.

but i just dont understand why you have to lie to me.
its just not fair, isnt it?

i can take any form of pain.
incessant scoldings and harsh words thrown from a particular someone, being unnoticed or insignificant or easily forgotten, i can take and have taken the pain of an acl reconstruction.
but when u lie,
its just,
i dont know.

its even more painful than the 6 months of rehab i had to go tru for my knee.
and u know the post-surgery was the most painful moments in my life.
so can u imagine the damage a lie can cause?

cant be so baaadd! you may think.
because the people whom you love and care for you so dearly has never done it to you.
until u get to taste the pain of being lied to,
you'll never know how it feels like.

even if its some small petty issue.
lying is not a small petty issue.
not to me.

when we were together, i told the world i was with you.
when we broke apart, i was afraid of telling the world what you did to me,
because you were my world.

its not that i dont tell people the good side of you.
its just that u dont know.

i wish you'll just stop lying to me.
that's all i ask for.