stress!

wow. its been a long time since i went online. when i read my emails today, i had 138 msgs in my mail box. woots. bad bad bad. havent blog since when...the sani hussein craze? omg.

have i told u that junaidi is OUT of the anugerah skrin? sadness. and oh the pain. but shah's still in and i hope he does something about his acting skills cuz he deserves to win than the other 2. please brush up your acting skills, boy. shaheen, go help ur brother please? imagine having such a hot brother. haha. what am i babbling about. anyways, i still went to watch anu skrin live after the episode when junaidi left and he sat like 10m away from me. oh happiness. the joy. haha. crazy. omg to think of it, this was like 2 weeks 3 weeks ago? im so outdated. lost my track of time. shit. boohoo.

talking about JUNAIDI, my god, that day, cant remember when, i was walking in town with my mummy when i saw him. i know i know. SCREAM SQUEAK SHOUT JUMP FLY with joy cuz i met junaidi in person! woots! but he merely walked past me and i dint realise it at first until my mum nudged me and said,"eh, junaidi kan?" i was like omg omg omg omg...haha. he's so hot i tell you. H-O-T. and tall. hot and tall. sigh. and on that same night, i saw baihakki and norsafarie at tangs. baihakki is freakin tall but too bad. i dont really have the hots for him and all so, NO BIG DEAL babeh. haha. i dont think i can watch anu skrin live tmr cuz when i wanted to queue up for the tickets last saturday, it was GONE. finish, i tell u. sad.

and the june hols are coming to an end and i swear im so dead when school reopens cuz i havent started on revision. at all. its not like im secretly mugging just to eat the humble pie. im already freaking fat so i dont think i wanna have a bite on that humble pie. seriously. double serious. IM SO MATI. DEAD. END. FINISHED. i keep on telling myself to start studying but by the end of 1 hour (at most), i'll be doing something else. no not the computer, not the tv, not the playstation, not the box of dvds (i can almost hear the dvds calling out to me for me to watch them), not my friends i planned to go out with (cuz i havent gone for any girls day out! really!) and not even SHOPPING. omg. den what is wrong with me? maybe its training. but its not like i train everyday. is it world cup? but i only stayed up once for korea's match. ARGH. what is bloody wrong with me?

the As are so near. the grave is calling out to me. hah. scary.

i think im the laziest JC student on earth. how can this be? wheres my mugging mojo i used to have 2 years ago? ARGHH.

rowing season is in 3 weeks time. another reason for why aisyah is SO DEAD. 13 countries will be participating in the Asian Junior Champs. thirteen people to race with. my god. i am so D-E-A-D.

save me. someone. please?

i suddenly have no mood to write.

sorry guys. i better go do some self-relfecting. not too late to start working. never too late for anything.

*smiles* there u go. rock on, aisyah. ROCK ON.

clothes.

check this out:

aisyah
n. clothes

"My man, check out the aisyah!"
http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slang

i like.

woots.

THE WAIT is finally over. hah. AC Perbayu's penantian is over and many many of us are having the penantian withdrawal syndrome. even for myself. even tho i havent been going for many many meetings and rehearsals and whenever i did come, im usually late and everything will be almost done, i enjoyed myself. wee.

especially on the last day, not only bcuz i took millions of pictures with sani. oh sani, he's hot stuff, man. asal la ko kahwin cepat cepat. haha. sani sani. it was just a superb experience la.

being part of crew rulzzz tau is so fun lah. haha. we're so merepek nak mampos. we're all setan gondols la. gossip here gossip there. we even gossiped in front of the people we gossip about! hilarious! i made friends with people i never talked to before like farhan (abang lighting. eh i prefer him with malay accent. i dont like his slang.) and people i hardly talk to like zakiah! she looks like ms good charlotte on the final show. crew rulzzz tau decided to wear eyeliner. eh, it was my first time using eyeliner tau. so exciting! then we all looked so pretty. ehh, being a crew doesnt mean we dont get to look glam kay. mann, i love ac perbayu. i should have spent more time with them last year. see la, so busy with rowing. HAIZ. what do u get? blacker and bigger arms. raar.

after the last show, we went to al azhar at bukit timah for supper at like 11 plus. wah kecoh!! i reached home about 1 plus i think. did the necessary stuffs before going to bed and after like 3 hours or so, i had to wake up... for training. hooray. oh. check out the picts.

AC PERBAYU!!!

crew rulzzz tau and sani in our attempt to be vogue. erk.

so close to sani. woots. :)

there you go. more sani.

wee.

never thought mcs-ing would be so fun. AC PERBAYU FOREVER. i hope.

after penantian, there was the mcs bbq on thursday. i skipped training for that ok. and for sani, of cuz. :) we ate, and ate, and played soccer, and they played in the water and i dint cuz my mum dint allow and i think east coast water is gross, and ate some more and went home. i had to leave early cuz i had training the next morning. not surprising aye? and i gained weight after that. lagi not surprising. sigh. but i had fun. i love ac perbayu. maybe its too late to get excited about it. oh well. WHO CARES. i love sani.

hah.

oh. went to watch anugerah skrin again last monday. i know not many people who actually follows this program. sad. its a good show, actually. there are actually still people who can speak good malay around. im ashamed of myself. anyway, we sat right behind mayuni omar last monday. hazirah was so excited. i dont like last week's show cuz my 2 fave guys was in the bottom 2: shah and junaidi. so junaidi left. but im glad shah's still in so i can still go out with shaheen on mondays. wee. haha. sigh. junaidi is hot. i love him.

err. yes.

then there was acs idol last night. i dint go for the rj drama but i heard it was quite bad so no regrets beb. anyway acs idol was good with a VERY unexpected end. ethel was the bomb. i thought she could have clinched the title easily but EVERYONE got a shock when she was tied with another contestant at 4th. shocking!!! like hello, 4th? are u kidding me? then the title went to this indian barker guy, Yuresh. he's not great but he's adorable and innocent and so cute but still not great can?. not idol material at all please. ethel was way better than him. oh well. im quite sad but yea, oh well. i love ethel anyway. oh and there was this hottt barker guy, Amaraysh. the sad thing is, he's just hot. thats all. his performance was like 4 mins of eye washing. wish wash squeaky clean eyes. :)

so the rest of the hols would be training, mugging, training, mugging, oh one day for beach cleaning, one day for GP lesson, one day for mashren, and back to training and mugging.

i cant seem to START studying.

WHACK.

i wanted to post many many pictures i took with my phone but i cant seem to transfer files from my phone. and today, im using the school computer. and i've got 10mins to write this entry. shucks.
anyway, last week of school seems a little draggy, dont u think so? oh well. who cares? its the last week of term, today's the last day of school, and *tada* the hols are here. yay yay. but holidays = mugging. really. hey, if u ever spot me around shopping or wasting time, do approach me and give me a slap okay? i must wake up. now. i must not slack anymore. i must at least pass a farking econs test. get a grip on complex numbers and random variables for maths. love agriculture even tho its the worst human geog topic after industrial change. and yes. as i have mentioned, pass a test with good marks. its been a NONG NONG time since i got back a test and smiled. ergh. a levels is in less than *gasp* 6months time. i am so mati. mati mati mati. argh.

anyway, this week had been happening! and i havent rowed for almost a week which is very bad cuz if i dont row for so long, i tend to lose wateva i've learnt for the past 5 months. i havent ran since sunday and i've been eating like crazy since sunday and i know ive gained weight so im feeling quite irritated. very irritated. @#%$^& irritated. argh!!!

lets talk about nice nice things, should we?
on monday, i went to watch anugerah skrin live with shaheen, alyani and astri. wah. i was so excited gila nak mampos. we were this close to the stage and we were sitting right smack in the middle of the theatre. here u go:

yup. that close. i have a clearer pict in my phone but as i said, my computer is giving me the shits.

ok, i was sitting with shah's supporters cuz shaheen is shah's sister. (isnt it cool to have a hot brother? its like having taufik as your brother. whoa!) we were wearing white. so i dont have a white top cuz my other one had red spots all over cuz someone decided to mix the red tshirt with my white top! so amaria was kind enough to lend me her white tee which fitted perfectly well and damn i look gorgeous. haha! kidding. never.

ahh yes. the show was good. of cuz i (and astri) cant stop screaming with joy whenever junaidi appeared. he's hot stuff la. but we must try to contain our excitement cuz *ehem* we're sitting with the shah clan and not the junaidi clan. after the show and all the screaming and shouting and oogling and woogling, we decided to take some pictures! dont bother asking who took the picture for us.

aper yani tunjuk perut hah?

i like this picture. we look like hantus!

sexy bitches. :)

oh photos are courtesy of yani. yay.

on wednesday, we had drama. as usual i was late and when i came everything was done. in other words, i came for nothing. im sorry k im a bit useless. but i managed to stay until 11 plus. pretending that i dint have any geog test the next day. i reached home at 12 plus. i took a shower, prayed, packed my bag, ironed my clothes and went to sleep at 2am. bloody tired. i know i shouldnt be complaining cuz its my first time when the others have been staying back since like forever. the next morning, i swear i couldnt open my eyes. i remembered going to the toilet, showering, brushing my teeth, den while i was praying i fell asleep. oh no. i hope God wont punish me. den i told my mum i was too tired to go to school so i went back to bed. yay. i skipped my geog test. aisyah is so naughty, i tell u.

anyway i have drama now. gotta go.

hooray for hols! :)

sports council

yesterday, for the first time in many many months, i felt like a national athlete. hah. i had a appointment with dr gary slater at the singapore sports council- science and research center. im supposed to go through a rowing test of some sort- i dint know what exactly. so the doctor is an australian guy with big big big bisceps. and he ends most of his sentences with, "mate". haha. moving on...

u see, i dint know he was gonna make me row a trial test in which im supposed to go all out, giving my 100% throughout for the 1000m trial. honestly, i wasnt prepared- at all. not only that. i had to breathe through my mouth only so they had to plug my nose and stuff this mask into my mouth which is connected to this machine. and in the mask theres this tube at the bottom which collects my saliva cuz i cant swallow my saliva when i put it on. i know, gross. i look like a bloody lab rat, seriously. the mask was held in position by this head gear i had to wear. i swear i flet like COW in one of the cow and chicken episodes when COW had to wear braces and the setan put this awful head gear that is connected to her braces to keep the braces in place. in short: i look horrible. and the lady who helped me wear it asked me whether i wanted to take a picture with it.

so yea. the warm up was kinda simple. i started with a slow and relaxed row which increases gradually. they stopped me when my lactic reached 4ml. its like a 4mins set then a 1 min break following another 4mins set and so on. and after every set, they had to prick my ear to take some blood samples. it wasnt painful but by the time they pricked like 6 times, my ear was blue black. horrible, i tell u.

ok, the 1000m trial on the ergo meter was the first time in my life. (whats ergometer? thank god u've never seen it before, ok?) i swear i almost died halfway. dr gary was shouting at me to pull harder and even harder even though i have like 500m more to go. i know its not much for someone who's standing next to the person who's rowing but for the rower, its not as easy as it seems. i totally lost focus halfway. i cant remember what happened. when i hear him shouting again, i was already at the 250m mark which means i must really really pull even harder. penat giler nak mampos!!! when i ended the test, my whole body felt like !@#$%i!!! then i dint know what to hold on to so, i pulled onto dr gary's pants. haha. i was grabbing him for support. it was hilarious. i think he must be thinking, why is this crazy girl ripping my pants off!? he was the one nearest to me and i felt so weak and lethargic i needed something to hold on to. and it had to be his pants. right. my mouth was super dry. when they took off the stupid mask i couldnt move my jaw. my mouth ached for hours. worse than braces. trust me. my time was 3:48mins. which was pretty slow for a rower but considered acceptable for first timer. :) wee.

what an experience. if im good, they'll call me back for another test. if they see no potential in me at all, they wont. haha. life's like that, girl. face it.

ok. so the computer at home is not blardy working and the laptop is pissing me off cuz it's always not responding and it will take years to upload a page. argh.

oh and i came across this little write up on pandan reservoir where i row. pretty interesting.

pandan reservoir
pandan reservoir is located 0.4 kilometre away from Sungei Pandan; 0.5 kilometre away from Jalan Buroh; 0.5 kilometre away from Tanjong Penjuru; 0.7 kilometre away from Pandan Loop; 0.7 kilometre away from Penjuru Lane; pandan reservoir is geographically located at latitude (1.3106 degrees) 1° 18' 38" North of the Equator and longitude (103.7435 degrees) 103° 44' 36" East of the Prime Meridian on the Map of Singapore.

coolio.

and google earth is so exciting.

and im watching da vinci code with hazi today. its a private screening and she invited me. i love her, man. muahaha.

AND acjc perbayu malay drama is on 26 and 27 may. so YOU have to get your tickets now cuz its a must-watch show. and its directed by sani hussein. AND on tuesday, i had a 3 mins chat with him.

AND i love junaidi from anugerah skrin. he makes me wanna watch more of anugerah skrin. wee. i met him last sat at the TJ gema. so happy la. but its like a mere parting glance. but still, he's so cuteilicious. haha. stop it, aisyah. ok.

AND i havent done any homework since last thursday.

AND netball a div finals is today. and i hope AC will trash HC like how we did last year. all the best, girls.

then it comes to a point where, i regret like shitoholioribblydamnfargurghekkishargh! for quitting netball. but then again, i try not to regret. im not regretting. im not IM NOT. anyways, go AC!

and now, what do i do for the next 2 free periods i have?

go study, can?

i dont know if i can make it through the As. honestly, im pretty scared.

sigh.

argh!!

1103. lucky number for the day. pen this number down on a piece of paper. buy your 4d now. 1103. 1103!! hooray!
haha. 11:03 mins- the time i took to complete my 2.4km run. last year was 11:54mins. an improvement of 51secs babeh! so happy :) ethel calls me the queen buff. syahir calls me kakak monstress. hah. sam calls me minah. i wonder whether people actually do remember my name.
anyways, school has been terribly exhausting these days. tests come and go. training's getting tougher by the week. my skin's getting blacker. and shinier- dont ask me why. my face is getting oiler. cuz they dont sell clearasil facial wash in the white bottle anymore. so i've got to trial and error other facial foams. oh and after the 2.4km run today, i found out i have white spots on my right cheeks. omg. i almost freaked out. argh! the horror. but i do water sports. its almost impossible not to get my face wet when im sweaty. argh. shitsmits.

stop global whining, please.

hoohoo.
the final 4 amercal idols are freaking good. they're like the perfect final four. i like everyone of them! thank god its not singapore idol. i wouldnt want to vote for any of them. haha. oh, mind u. i voted for taufik like a gazillion and one times okey. hah. so did my mum. taufik looks weird in the 7-11 ad. and the quit smoking ad. i think he does best at singing and performing. nothing else, fik. nothing else. sigh. i actually miss watching him on tv. i dint miss an episode at all ok. i was a devotee i tell u. hah. and it was during the o levels year, i clearly remember. sigh. those good old times.

i dont like thinking about the yesteryear. i fell freaking old now. that day during recess, my classmates and i were talking about careers, universities, yadayadas. freaking scary, i say. and sadly, i still dont know what the hell i wanna be when i grow up. oh, wrong thing to say, aisyah. ure all grown up now. i still dont know what the hell i wanna be in the next few years. which is like 1 or 2 or 3 years later. im so hopeless i dont deserve to live. argh.

and i ate salmon japanese pizza today. i dint know it was salmon la. it smells fishy but the taste wasnt that bad. but i wouldnt eat it again. haha. yay. i ate fish. hooray.
u know. i suddenly have no mood to write. i miss someone so badly its bogging me down terribly. painful. sickening. that horrendous shitty mitty feeling i utterly despise. but isnt missing someone supposed to be a nice feeling? hah. tell me about it. my head feels like it carries 9/10th of my weight these days. why oh why. the misery.

so i think i'll write more when im the mood, u know.
im sick of life, aren't you?

divalafutbol

girls soccer anyone? :)

200406

oooh. last week was fun. i turned 18. i ate non-stop cuz i think i deserved a break from my dieting. i gained 3kg, i swear. i only went for training once last week. i skipped training on sunday to clean up my room which now looks exactly the same but with much less dust mites floating around. i threw away the moulding taufik poster on my wall and replace it with the frame amaria gave me. i spent 10hrs cleaning up my room. which is not more than 3m by 3m in length.

wait there's more!

i ate pizza hut with nad, elly and heen on the evening of my birthday. i havent eaten pizza hut for ages. then they surprised me with a birthday cake. and they sang for me a birthday song. i had candles. i was so happy! i was touched. we went to take some lovegety. is that wat they still call it? it has been like decades since i took neoprints. and i swear, we are still terrible in taking neoprints. we were screaming and shouting behind the curtains. i couldnt stop laughing. it has been centuries since i laughed so hard! i had so much fun, i tell u. sigh. i wanna be in bp again.

on friday, i went shopping with my brother. its so rare to go shopping with your elder brother. but it was fun. i met him at the old rp gym where he's working. he made me take this body fat test. and i found out that my fat makes up 11kg of my total body weight which is about 17% and that the noraml fat range is 18-25% and im actually UNDERFAT. im happy. then we went to queensway cuz he wanted to buy for me a shoe for my birthday. which is rare cuz he usually doesnt bother. we spent almost 3hrs there and little miss fussy and freaking fickle (ooh, alliteration!) couldnt decide which shoe she wants. so he said that i should check out the puma shoes at taka which was cheap and nice. so we went to taka and i saw the shoe and turned to my brother and said, "you have bad taste, bro!" i shook my head and we went home, with nothing. but he gave me money to go buy whichever shoe i wanted. yayness.

on saturday, i went for training. then i had weights training. there was this photographer who incessantly took pictures of me while i was carrying weights. he's working for some sports mag. it was freaking embarrassing. i dont mind if he takes shots of me rowing but no, it had to be weight lifting. thanks. after training, i met my ex-netball coach at paya lebar. we went to the european association to have lunch. i had mexican fajitas and salad and some damn yummy grilled ribs. it costs a bomb but lunch was on her, babeh! i had the yummiest cauliflower soup on earth. and we chatted for like hours! it was really fun. she rocks. and i found out that the president didnt live in the istana! instead, his house was right in front of the association and there was a guard in front of his house! so cool! my brother said im a blonde.

after lunch, i went to kallang to watch the syf band display. i met so many people. i did the bp cheer. i met hazi. and miss tay. and everyone else la. made me wanna go back to bp. really. sigh. bp got gold. tk got honours. everyone was good. im happy. then we took the bus back to bp with ms.lee's class. me and hazi ate at lot1. then i went home feeling fat, but happy.

sunday was my random once in a lifetime10hrs spring cleaning.

and i found that that traing camp is gonna start soon.

and i've gained weight.

and coach is gonna kill me.

all good things come to an end, dont they?

20apr

booyah!
aisyah's 18 today. yippie yai yey.

something eggciting i must tell you. eggggciting! (there's this truck i saw that day which transports eggs (conspicuously) and there was 'eggciting' written all over it and i tot it was really silly and retarded. but anyway, thats not the eggciting part.) exciting 18th birthday i had today! aisyah's so happy. im so happy i feel like dancing right now!! 18 = i can donate my blood without having to ask my mommy to sign a consent form. yay. i wanna save lives. i wanna be a good citizen. i wanna make a difference. im so proud of myself, man. *pats my back* 18 = i can take my driving license, i can go clubbing legally, drink, smoke, marry, watch m18 movies and yea. whats so exciting about 18? i dont know. *shrugs* wat else can i do that 17 year olds and below cant? tell me!! tell me!! so at least there's something to be really happy about.

i swear im gonna eat like a pig these few days, gain weight, grow fat and die! plus, im not training until saturday!! oh no!! i lost 2kg last week and i was freaking happy about it. its not easy to lose 2 freaking kg ok. a combination of sweat and tears, commitment, discipline, determination and perseverance is needed. wah. *shakes head* im proud of you, aisyah. *pats on my back* then last sunday i went to goodwood park hotel for a birthday party (for a 6 year old, mind u.) yes. a 6 yr old having a party in a hotel. rich bastard. and there was laksa, siew mai, kueh paitee, roti jala, chicken curry, buttered sausage rolls, blueberry crumble, mango drink with yummy pomelo stuff, and all sorts of finger foods la. we were there for 3 hours at least! and our table was right next to the food stand. the rest u think for yourself ok. (think: hotel food and hungry girl who just finished training.) argh! my one week of losing 2kg effort gone in 3 hours. *&^%$#@! this dieting plan is kiiling me. argh! losing weight is hard work, gaining weight is heart pain. wah. can be my life motto ah. not bad. not bad.

how can i not grow fat u tell me. the weather's been getting on my nerves and birthdays equals to eat all you can while you can! how?

talking about rain, i officially hate rain i swear. esp when it rains in the evenings. when will it ever not rain? the more it rains, the fatter i get. rain= no running= gain weight= fat= cry= worry= rain again=no running again=... its the viscous cycle of growing fat i tell you! i cant take it anymore! stop raining for goodness sake! i wanna run!! running in the stadium on certain periods of the day makes your eyes squeaky clean. washing eyes is a girl's favourite pasttime, babeh! and i can legally do it since im single! lol. but im not one of those cheerleading minahs who goes to the stadium solely to wash eyes, mind you. washing eyes is my last priority when i have a running program to complete. (wah semangat PIG (kebabian)) eye washing activity forms some sort of foreign motivation. helps a lot, trust me. :) but some soccer guys are hott stuff i tell you! thats why i swear i hate rainy evenings. rain=no run=no eye washing + grow fat. ergh.

oh. and talking about hot dudes, that day, (cant remember which day exactly) but yea, that day i was feeling like a piece of shit left on the side of a pavement being stepped on by man, wiped off by tissue paper and thrown in the rubbish bin. (aka shitty mitty feeling) ahh yes. that day i was feeling shitty (for dont know what reasons), i was at causeway point after school cuz i had some errands to run. i had a bad day...im taking one down. i sing a sad song just turning around...ok, moving on. that was when i saw him. he was tall, dark and ultra hot, i say!! megawati suupertera ultraman hott! ok. not really but, anyways, i had a bad day u see, so yea. emphatize with me, please. he was with his mummy. he was right in front of me. he looked at me and kept on looking and then he smiled. i SWEAR he made my heart jumped and like...alah donno lah. feeling funny and all. like tingle mingle. i smiled back. he looked freakin familiar. like i knew him at the edge of my fingertips but i just cant get around to figure out who the freaking hell is he. but WHOA, i say. he made me grinned from that second onwards until i reached home. then he walked past me and i turned around to look at him and he turned back too!! (like romantic love story... like love at first sight gitu, you!!) he made my day, man. my day was complete. maybe it was the bad day making me see things. maybe it wasnt. maybe i know him. maybe i dont. oh so drama-mama la. like hindustani turning into reality. (oh coincidence! he's an indian! oh, and please dont start that "whats with u and indian guys?" comments. i know u're thinking about it.) anyway, the point is, he freaking made my day. thats all that matters when u're having a bad day. is it? i guess.

he makes me wanna sing that retarded song that goes something like,

"who is he? who is he? who is that beautiful guy..."

sigh.

...

ahh. i'll post the picts and tell u about my exciting day some other time. some people are just cruel and heartless. they can spoil the best days of your life just by existing.

i think my boobs are insignificant but i dont plan to commit suicide. silly boy. prolly he dint know there was such a thing as a penis enlargement treatment.

big fat f

april's here. 14 more days to being able to legally able to watch m18 movies. 4 more months to prelims. 7 more months to a levels. 8 more months to freedom. sigh. and next year, i'll prollyget my first job ever. get my own income. spend with my own money. exciting, i say. i can hardly wait. guys will get their head shaved. they'll have to strip naked in front of doctors for their medical check up (dont ask me how i know). suffer for a year or two in camp. build muscles. lose weight. i'll be in a univrsity i guess. taking business or accountings or sprots management or whateva shit they have. im still unsure about what i wanna do. hopeless, aisyah. *shakes head* rowing? ahh yes. 3 more months to asian junior rowing championships. equivalent to 3 more months to lose 4kg. i lost 1 kg in 3 months. hooray. hopeless, i tell you.
terms was terok giler nak mampos. from a D E O for promos i got A B F. ahh. A for maths B for geog *applause* i missed an A for geog by about 2 marks. but im happy with maths and geog. im so proud of myself. and F for, what else if not, econs. and i cant blame it on not having time cuz i had all the time in the world to study. furthermore, i only have to commit to one sport now. my mcq was ok but the drq was so bad i almost went blind looking at the paper. sigh. shitty mitties of life. failure is a stepping stone to succes i guess. i hope aisyah will learn her lesson and pull up her socks!! no wonder im stupid. i dont wear long socks. i need to get a pair. now.
this means if it was promos, i couldn't have been promoted to jc2. which is damn sad. very sad. blardy sad!! this is the first time in my entire life i failed in an exam! there's gonna be a big fat ugly red F in my result slip. shit. i feel stupid. i want to be clever again. sigh. i miss being clever.
this also means that my mom has to attend the paernt-teacher dialouge session this saturday. it is especially for those students who dint make it, like me. its such a waste cuz my passes are damn good. hello A and B? and F? alah. there's a first time for everything la. my parents have never been called down to talk about my failing grades ever so this will be a new experience. i cant wait. yay. (-_-) *sniff*
yesterday i was bloody depressed about grades and all i couldnt row properly and my boat moved like crap. coach gave up on me halfway. sometimes, u just know what your coach is thinking u know. sigh. i almost gave up but i'll never give up. aisyah yakin aisyah boleh! malaysia boleh! boleh!!!!
yadayada.
oh sani hussein's gonna direct the upcoming malay drama production. i think he's uber cool. cant wait.
and i watched gie from start to end not bcuz the movie was fabulous. it wasnt. i watched bcuz nicholas saputra is damn cute. he's so cute i almost wanted to grab him out of the tv screen and marry him. haha. sigh.
anyways, i ate dinner with liyana, rinus and kangwei at this jap restaurant at level one last thursday. the food rocks, i tell u. worth my $10. im happy. after that i ate fried mars bars and i swear, for the next few days i cut down on all my food intake by half. i had fun. really, i did. im happy. and i miss liyana already. :)
yesterday i met hazi and we walked around causeway point for a while. then it struck me. i havent done this for a long long, ver very uber long time: walking around shopping malls after school. oh my shit. then it struck to me again that: i dont have a life. im sad! im sad! but i ate chocolate yogurt icecream which costs $2.85. it was kinda nice. and its 97% fat free. im happy. so sad+happy=equilibrium state. :) i miss hazi too.
sigh. i miss loads of people. i wanna meet everyone! can i can i???
and oh. im sad cuz last week i went to thread my eyebrows and i look almost eyebrow-less. the saddest part is not bcuz i look eyebrow-less, its bcuz i threaded it like days ago and only yesterday did many people, including my classmates whom i see everyday and family members who live under the same roof as me realised that my eyebrows look different. thanks, guys. u rock.

march hols.

argh! my hair's so thick no wonder sometimes i cant think properly cuz my brain's getting fried!
cannot tahan sey. so that one hot bloody day, i went to cut it. for 10 bucks. "ok girl, u look at the book and choose the style u want." bloody hell. everyone in that catalouge had either freakin rebonded or perfectly permed hair. mine is far away, far far far away from either. it's like, half-curled, burnt hay. or more like yak hair. maybe its just the weather that's making it look dry and horrible. or maybe its just me. anyways, i got it cut so dont make me regret. cuz i hate to go through the process of regretting that i cut my hair. after that, the lady was like "look girl, ur hair. so curly curly." then she sort of sweeps the pile of hair on the floor with her feet towards me. ahh?
feels like i lost 5kg.
ahh yes. the march hols. had a malay society bbq on friday. food was ok. "rozni" wasn't there. how the hell should i know he takes tamil and tamil- speaking muslims weren't invited? sad. but its ok. :) we watched the exorcism of emily rose in LT3 until 11pm. it was freakin scary mary like shit. i covered my ears during most of the scary scenes. that's why i'll never watch a horror movie in the cinema. anyway, it was a really fun bonding activity. i love mcs, bebeh!! watched gubra with yani which was damn nice i cant wait for the vcd so i can watch over and over and over AND OVER again. like what i did with sepet. and jason's brother is hot! but his tetek berbulu. haha. lurve it!! went to the halal food fair at expo with my mum and syahir. i fell in love with dendeng. especially the chilli chicken. mmmm..met liyana. oooh i miss her so many many!! watched dorm with mummy and syahir too which was the worst horror film EVER. disappointing. oh, i dint pay for the tickets so, that doesn't count. from the mouth of world's no.1 pengecut- the movie was NOT scary --- at all. im serious.
i watched crash on dvd too. it was GREAT. makes me feel damn lucky im living in singapore. oh, i was watching it alone then my mum appeared to ask me what i was watching and just as she appeared, the sex scene appeared as well. wow.
so i had like some sort of a movie marathon but for most of the holidays, i was studying. oh and i fell sick twice for studying in my room. nah, i wasn't sick of studying, my room is bloody dusty, when i stay in there for a few seconds, i'll get terrible running nose. i hate it. so i have to migrate to the dining table and whenever someone switches on the tv, that person'll regret for switching it on.
i was so sick and was so on about studying i didnt go rowing. neither did i go run. oh, it was the rainy period too. the news anchor was like "looks like its not going to rain in the next 2 weeks" and it rained the very next day! we have good news forecasters.
and exams came and went. i couldnt finish geog paper on time cuz i had too much too write. i had too little to write for econs and i finished the maths paper right on time. and today, i watched v for vendetta at marina square. the new look makes marina square looks gigantic! and i love that movie! but i got lost halfway. the language is so chimeney chim chim. anyways, i like it very much. i wanna watch it again!
ahh yes. as u can already see from my march expenditure, im BROKE. sad.
and i love jason mraz. sam went for his concert while i was busy mugging. ergh.
oh. visit my bro's diary. he's selling tees. i think they're beautiful. click on enemiko and check them out kays?
im craving for dendengs.
and to my besties, nadelly and heen, lets quickly plan for a girl's day out!! cant wait bebehs!! i suggest...window shopping at marina square! dont mind anything lah guys! :)

and to liyana, i wanna go out with u too! i "chop" u for next week! :)

love u guys many many!!

family

love. family.
beautiful. i like.
yay.
anyway, changed my blog.
aisyah's bored.
go study, u lazy ass!
and put that tub of nutella away!!

career fair

bummer.

im getting lazier by the day.

the exams are drawing nearer each freakin day.

oh, gp's tmr.

bummer.

i've never used that word before: bummer.

lala.

anyway, i wasn't feeling well these days. havent's been eating well, either. im on a diet, mind you. i hate starving myself. but its for my own good. i guess. i really wanna row in the lightweight category. last weekend, i had 4 consecutive days of training. i lost about 3.5kg. when i stepped on the weighing scale, the feeling that swept through me was exhilarating. 3 to 4 more kg down and im there, babeh. im finally there. but not yet. almost. almost.

anyway, that was last weekend. after like 2 hours of rowing and 6.2km of jogging under the afternoon sun. so after 4 days of rest, cuz aisyah's such a lazy pig she doesnt feel like rowing giving stupid excuses like exams are here, i think last week's weight losing effort will be wasted. ergh. this is tough.

anyway, havent been blogging a lot lately. oh yes, i was not feeling well. i have the oddest infection i can ever imagine: lymph node infection. i heard that somewhere. ahh yes! biology. those mrs wong days. sigh. yea, there's this small lump near my left year, where the sideburn's supposed to be. ahhh! i donno what's that part called. but there's a lump there anyway. and another at the back of my ear. it hurts when i press them. i thot they're signs of mumps. and mumps are contaigous, i heard. so on monday, i skipped the last 2 periods of swim pe to visit the doctor. she was the one who told me i had lymph node infection. i was like nymph lode whatttt? her reply was, "its an organ in your body that is swelling." helpful, indeed. got some antibiotics to reduce the swelling and thankfully, the lump is smaller now. yay!

anyway, last weekend was quite exciting. on sat, i had training in the morning. after that i met amaria at city hall cuz we planned to visit the career fair together. i found the fair very helpful cuz im such a bummer. im 17 (going 18 soon!!) and i dont know what i wanna be and i donno where i wanna go. and amaria rocks la. im like utterly clueless about uni edu and all and she was way more useful than the fair!! haha. thanks, girl. =) anyway, yea. i was quite interested in the novation business school's advanced dip in sports management. but my brother said it wasnt recognized and all. but i wanna go nus, but...i dont know what course to take. told u im such a bummer. sigh.

oh btw, i had an offer from my rowing president to study in west virginia university. they're gonna pay for everything if i were to accept the offer but i have to row while im there. sounds like a good offer but firstly, i wasnt planning to go to west virginia. i wasnt even planning to go overseas! and secondly, my mum said no almost immediately when i told her about it. so, yea. sad. actually, i dont know. sigh. what do u think?

after that, we went to school to watch night of laughter. it was great. some of the sketches were not funny but some were really funny. yea, enjoyed myself. yay.

anyway, i better get going. the bells gonna ring any time soon. tomorrow's gp exam. i hope i can pass, at least. sigh. wish me luck :)

i wanna watch fd3, gubra, date movie, blah blah...im so movie-deprived!!! the last movie i watched was saw 2!! omg. aisyah's so sad.

lala.

mwahh to everyone!!!

aisyah =)

f-o-r

its been aisyah's bloody sleepy days these days. aisyah's been sleeping in lectures and during her free periods. and even during assembly!! for example, like today. sat down on one of the empty chairs next to ruth, with the earpiece still plugged into my ears, with my sling bag still slung over my shoulders, i just sat for like one second and the next thing i knew everyone was standing up to prepare for assembly. oh, and the worst thing to do is to sleep in the mrt- alone. yes. i did it. i shouldnt have sat in the first place but i even fell asleep standing! wth.

and the most irritating thing is that i sleep at 10.30 every night!!

i guess it must be the post-fun-o-rama-shaggedyness. funorama was freakin tiring- but freakin fun too. ok, i dressed up as willy wonka (or supposedly willy's wonkis) on that freaking hot day. i had to wear this starry vest with this thick, heavy maroon coat and a big top hat that made me look like i was 190cm tall and white gigantic retro sunglasses. i'll think about whether to put the pictures of me in that costume up here. haah. anyways, the top hat was bloody heavy, mind you. i had to walk around under the freaking hot sun with an almost broken cane in one hand and krispy kremes doughnut in another. ahhh yes. krispy kremes. if u havent tried krispy kremes doughnut before, i think u must at least try it before u die. i am serious. the doughnuts were flown from sydney that very morning! and it was sold out even before noon!!! oh, and krispy kremes are h-e-a-v-e-n-l-y, i tell you. they're like ahh...mmm...ooo...ohyea....uhh....like that. yea. like that. like having an orgasm. like it could turn u on. like it makes u horny and get excited...like u know what i mean. yea. like that.

it rained in the late afternoon. so our food stall which was at the hub went hectic when loads of customers bought our chocolate fondue and ice milo. it was bloody tiring. i had to refill the milo dispenser like 5 times during my shift. but it was really fun. yea, i had fun. im glad i did. yay. =)

oh, i like the burger ramly best. yummy.

then the class went for a so-called class dinne at 3 different restaurants. i went home. cuz im having training the next day.

and sunday's training was the most tiring session ever. we had competition resistance which was like rowing at race speed but not the full race length but equally tiring. and right after rowing, i had to run 6km. at 11.30am. my life rocks, dont u think?

ahh yes. then i went for rowing again on monday. cuz school was half day. ate at pepper lunch with my class at taka, which was not halal. haha. im so evil these days, u know. do u think i'll be sent to hell cuz i ate pepper lunch? even tho its like the best meal ive eaten for days? even tho it costs me $10 for a plate of pepper rice and raw beef? will i? will i? will i go to hell for this sin i did? but pepper lunch was damn delicious..ahh...but i feel guilty after eating. haha.

dont tell my mum ok?

uhh...then i went training again on wednesday. is it trainings that has been making me tired? or is it my attempt to lose weight that i start starving myself in school but later i eat like i havent eaten for the whole day (which is exactly true) at home? im so not helping myself. im so lousy at this. i need to lose weight. ergh.

my life rocks i tell ya. i told u that before right? yes i did. its true. its true.

yup. gotta go now. told myself to spend one period on computer and another studying but im only left with half a period doing the latter. *whacks myself with my rowing oars*

Nah has a new v3i and he said that my phone is lousy and i cant flip my 6610i and he also added that he's not a show off. ironic.

oh well, for the rest of the day, i just hope to stay awake in classes.

wish me all the best owkay?

tatas. :)

rowing

found this article on this website: http://www.rc-plaue.de/body_allgemeiner_wassersport.htm
ohh cool!! im featured in this german website!!! i miss germany!!! arghhhh!!!

dats me and shuying!!!

Rudernationalannschaft aus Singapur zu Gast beim RC Plaue
Im Rahmen der Junioren-WM in Brandenburg betreut unser Verein die Rudernationalmannschaft aus Singapur, das heißt der RC Plaue stellt unseren Gästen, die vom anderen Ende der Welt angereist sind Unterkunft und Trainingsmöglichkeiten zur Verfügung. Das Ziel während des 3-wöchigen Aufenthalts soll die Vorbereitung und zugleich die Teilnahme an der Junioren-WM in der ersten Augustwoche sein. Die Ruderinnen und Ruderer aus Singapur gehen sowohl mit Saiyidah Aisyah und Ong Shu Ying im Juniorinnen-Zweier-ohne als auch mit Dev Anand und Ivan Lee im Junior-Doppelzweier an den Start. Trainer Raihan Bin Omar begleitet seine Schützlinge während der Trainigseinheiten, die mehrmals täglich auf dem Plan stehen mit dem Motorboot. Unser Verein unterstützt die Ruderer aus Singapur so gut wie möglich um eine möglichst erfolgreiche Teilnahme an der JWM zu erreichen. -CP-

Am 27.7.05 besuchten die Nachwuchssportler der KITA "Plauer Spatzen" den Ruderclub Plaue. Die Kinder, welche von Anke Drese an den Rudersport herangeführt werden, waren sehr aufgeregt als Sie mit der Nationalmannschaft der Ruderer aus Singapur zusammen trafen. Erst sehr schüchtern dann aber doch hoch erfreut konnte man die Sportler auch hautnah erleben. So etwas passiert ja nicht alle Tage, dass eine Nationalmannschaft im Heimatort beherbergt wird.Am Sonnabend sind die Sportler aus Singapur gemeinsam mit den Ruderern des Vereins dann auf der kleinen Regatta zum Fischerjakobi zu sehen bevor Sie auf der Wettkampfstrecke in Brandenburg bei den Juniorenweltmeisterschaften um größere Erfolge rudern.

haha. yay!!!

tell me, am i the earliest jc student to go to bed every night? is 10pm early? cuz if i sleep later than 10pm then if there's school the next day, then i'll spend my lectures and tutorials in lala land, maybe eating chocolate with my other classmates who decided to visit lala land too, and we're sitting next to the chocolate river dipping our hands into the chocolate fountain. oooh. makes me wanna go sleep during one of the lectures later. but aisyah hardly sleeps in lectures and tutorials these days. *pats on my back*
anyway, talking about chocs, we're doing a chocolate theme for fun o rama, which is like next sat. too freakin early, goddammit!! ahhhh!! oh, yes. the point is, u must buy our chocolate stuff. brownies, fondue, marshmallows, blah...choc here choc there. on my hands, on my tongue, down my throat, in my tummy. into my fat glands. then they store and make me fat. and it takes at least 30mins of jogging to lose that bite of chocolate i took. ahhh...where was i? got carried away...ahh yes. buy chocs from 2ahr at fun o rama. bloody high quality chocs which cost a bomb for us but we sell it to u at low low prices. dont doubt me. im a choc-fanatic.
i was supposed to sell fun o rama tickets at sp yesterday but ended up selling none and eating their shepherds pie from foodcourt 6 instead. hahh. im such a lazy bum. anyway, ive only got 5 more to sell. wont be tough, will it? sigh.
oh and we had cross country yesterday. yesterday was the hottest day of the week, i swear. the worst thing to do at macritchie was to wait. wait for people to arrive, wait for the guys to start their race, wait for our turn to start, wait for the finishing line to approach nearer. sigh. oh, there were no monkeys, so i dint step on one like what i almost did last year. almost, mind u. if i ever stepped on a monkey i wouldn't bother running in macritchie ever again. anyway, yes. it was scorching hot and humid and stuffy and the path was rocky and rooty and treacherous. the uphills were bloody killers. the expressway dint seem to end. i ran and ran and ran and i had that funny thought that i was like 30 something in position.

but i ended up 19th.

can u believe it? nineteen out of about three hundred girls. it was a great achievement. well, my first great achievement of the year. and of course, my first ever acjc medal. yay! and i treated myself to beard papa's cream puff after that. =) yummy. i wish i wish i can get a lifetime suply of beard papa's cream puffs, eclairs and cheese cake. sigh. oh. yes, i was the 19th girl yesterday. yay.
im so happy, and when my mum came home at night, she bought chocolate hl milk. i like. haha. my other achievement for the year is to do well for my terms. insyaallah.
my legs look like big, fat, chunky chocolate bars.
aisyah =)

cny2

sigh. i forgot to bring my handphone to school today. great way to start my day. yay.
oh. the chinese new year holidays were pretty exciting. ac perbayu performed a dikir barat on friday. which turned out pretty cool. and people loved it. ahh. this is us:

i lurve this pict. dont we look good? im the only one wearing white. and i know i look like a guy!! scary mary. i brought 5 baju kurungs and i dint get to wear any of them. haha.
anyways, it was really fun. even tho we had to go tru shit and hell sometimes. never smile kena scold. never gallop also wrong. haah. ahh yes. im smack right in the middle of the first row. dengdeng. everyone was so semangat. i love them!!

look at the concentration on our faces laa. :)
haha. anyway, i wore contacts on that day which made my eyes went all red and watery. on my way to orchard to meet alyani, i swear i couldn't open my eyes! bloody hell. i look like a drugged minah who just got punched by her abusive boyfriend or something. haha. well, in short, i look terrible! yup. met yani. then, we walk walk around taka cuz i wanted to go kino to search for something for my mummy's birthday which was on 6th jan. i know. im such a lousy daughter. then, yani fell in love with this rare species some sort of my type : long-legged animals laa. haha. this is the long-legged sheep and yani:

after that, we met astri and had lunch at sakura, far east. astri is still loud and minah-ish. haha. i miss her. oh and we met hafidz ("bitch") and daniel and they joined us for lunch. quite random laa. haha. and this photo was taken by hafidz:

its our reflection in the mirror. lol. astri had to leave early tho. ergh. but anyway, me and alyani went to eat the most sinful thing ever created on the face of this earth:

fried mars bar. omg. u must try it. its bloody heavenly. heaven for the tongue but hell for my tummy. haha. its mars bars, fried in flour i think or something lahh which are the brown balls u see. served with creamy vanilla ice cream. its not like any other budget cremo-ish ice cream, i tell u. and a generous supply of chocolate topping. it was that good that yani had an orgasm. haha.
alright. i met my mum after that. yani looked so shagged la. must be the fried mars bar. den guess where my mum brought me for dinner? desa kartika. i know. i swear i gained 3kg that night. damn. there goes my "lose 5kg by end of jan" goal. ergh.
oh and on sat, my daddy had bbq. it was just too hard to not eat. there was melted cheese on sausages, halal bahkwah...damn. i think im growing fat. and dying. seriously.
oh no. no. no. NO. it doesnt end there. i dint go for rowing trainings neither did i run during the cny holidays. and on tuesday, my family and i went to malacca to eat. yes. we paid like $40 each to eat seafood all the way at malacca. and the best thing in the world is, i DONT eat seafood. so i went all the way there to eat rice and 3 pieces of fried chicken wings. o-m-g. i dint buy anything else either.
sigh. and cross country's next week. and this week i only went rowing once. aisyah needs a kick on her big, fat, lazy ass. who would do the honour?
today we had to write anything that comes to our mind about control. and i spend like half of the given time staring at that word and thinking how weird it looks like. have u tried that before? like u stare at a word and it will just look weird somehow. or maybe its just one of the one hundred and one stupid things aisyah does. maybe.
hah. i gotta go now.

"hey ppl get your gear,

chicken year is now over,

come the dog year no more bird flu,

happy chinese new year to you!"

long-legged creature,

me :)

ketam and jagung

Your Hidden Talent

You have the natural talent of rocking the boat, thwarting the system. And while this may not seem big, it can be. It's people like you who serve as the catalysts to major cultural changes. You're just a bit behind the scenes, so no one really notices.

What's" Your Hidden Talent?

You Are 20% Abnormal

You are at low risk for being a psychopath. It is unlikely that you have no soul. You are at low risk for having a borderline personality. It is unlikely that you are a chaotic mess. You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection. You are at low risk for having a social phobia. It is unlikely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement. You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Abnormal Are You?

weehoo! im normal! yay!! and i have the natural talent of rocking the boat! ooh. maybe i was fated to row. haha. anyways. its thursday. and im having 2 free periods, wasting time taking all these random blogthings. how bored is aisyah? 99.128974% bored. the remaining 0.00 something percent is how not bored i feel. which means im really bored. but not so bored. cuz its not 100% bored. i still have some hope of unboredness left. yay!

omg. ketam ketttammm!!! oh. banyak banyak ketam!!!!

ahh yes. did u know i quit netball. like f-i-n-a-l-l-y. hah. yes. after 8 consecutive years of netballing, aisyah has finally quit netball. sigh. kinda sad la..to think about it. but i have to make a choice, anyway. netball or rowing. if i choose both, i might as well forget about a levels. sports in singapore can never be more important than education. discuss. wahh. so gp-deepy seyy.. haaahs. and my hidden talent is rocking the boat anyway, right? ahhhah.. i must nurture my talents while i still can and yes! aisyah can do it! *pats on my shoulder*

lalas.. lalalalas...

today i wanna go rowing. last week, we had a 2km time trial on water and it was my first ever time trial in my life on a single boat. the previous race was during the merlion at seletar last year. but i dint complete it cuz i capsized a few bloody seconds right after the race began. hah. i know. how pathetic was that? 87.1476472% pathetic!! then i cried (oh surprise, surprise) , cuz its quite embarrassing to capsize in a race and i felt really shitty mitty. but then,

failure is just a stepping stone to success.

if i fall, i've got 2 choices. to stay down or get up.

hah. so cheesy weezy!! ketam ketam nyer!!! blahh. ok. shut up, aisyah. sigh. yep. where was i? ahh yes. so for my first ever 2km time trial, i managed to clock a time of 9:41 mins which was way below my target for the year which is 8 mins flat. haha. but it was an achievement for me cuz i dint capsized and my target for that day was below 10mins. yeyyey. met my target!! *applause for aisyah* but there's still a lot to improve laa. rock my boat, aisyah. rock my boat.

im supposed to lose weight but ive been eating like crazy these days!!! old chang kee's irressistable epok epok everyday? im disappointed in myself. i cant stand it. if it wasnt for rowing, i would never go on a diet. but i wanna rock the boat, so i must lose weight. ergh. the rock my boat thing is getting in my nerves!! i think i need to take the abnormal test again. i find myself quite abnormal...sigh.

oh and its nice to talk normally now after whatever shit and hell that broke lose had happened. but things wont be the same again, i presume. but we'll try to make things better. if he cant, i will. oh, aisyah's gonna make the world a better place. spread the love, people. spread aisyah-ism. haah. sigh. the world is just like my skin colour- its not fair. ahhh!!! ketam jagung!!! ketam!! jagung!!

anyways, i hafta go for my next lesson now.

toodledoos. =)

success

ok. im in the school library again. alone, as usual. these days, i love to be alone. dont know why.

anyway, ive not been going rowing recently cuz im just plain lazy. like i told coach im going on tuesday but i didnt cuz i went to fetch my mum from the airport. yes. she just came back from haji and she bought quite a lot of stuff like dates, chocolate-coated dates, blahh.. alot la. its like food is all i think about. haha. and on wednesday, i was prepared to go training when it suddenly rained near my school. so i expected it to rain at pandan. i wanted to be sure it was raining at pandan so i took 78 to pandan from clementi. yep, it was drizzling slightly at pandan. so i dint alight and the bus took me all the way to jurong east. where i took the train home. gosh. aisyah is so retarded. its not a good feeling to skip training cuz the one who is at loss is me. i hate that guilty feeling. so on tuesday, i went running at woodlands stadium. i wanted to run yesterday but it began to rain heavily. spoiler.

well, yesterday was the first time since i broke up with kumar that i did not sms or call him. i thought well maybe he's moving on and so should i. i seriously refrained myself from touching my phone the whole day. i actually survived it! even tho i miss him like crazy laa. sigh. i miss crapping with him, telling him stupid jokes and receiving mean comments on how lame i could get, i miss being pinched..blahh...i wont get it started. anyway, i managed to complete a few maths homework and im proud of myself! these few days, ive NOT been sleeping in lectures or tutorials. yay for aisyah =)

so today, i promised myself i would go for training, rain or shine. before coach slits my neck. haah. and i need to lose 5kg by next week. ergh.

aisyah =)

monday.

sigh. today is a shitty mitty day to conlude to a really shitty mitty weekend i had. sigh.
stop sighing aisyah or u'll be called, sigh-idah aisyah. wth.
*slaps myself*
uhh. yes. its monday morning and im in the school library cuz i have 2 free periods. since i dropped lit, i have a lot of free periods. yayness. but today was bad. i have panda eyes this morning cuz i cried myself to sleep last night. someone made me cry real bad. yea. i look like a gigantic panda. =(
then i went to school with uber conspicuous eyebags that could store one big fat piece of kueh tat in them. hah. stupid analogy. dint know why im thinking about kueh tats. anyway, to top off my monday blues, i was caught for short skirt by the disciplne headmistress and she wanted me to buy a new skirt and show it to her during recess. but i couldn't find her and i dint buy any skirt. u're so gonna die, aisyah. ergh. now i look like a gigantic and retarded panda with a super long skirt. im so not gonna touch sugar cane today. it'll make me feel like a real panda. wait, pandas eat sugar canes dont they?
during the weekends, i went for rowing trainings in the mornings. on saturday we had an ergo timetrial which i did so damn bloody badly cuz the last time i touched an ergo machine was way before the sea games! i deproved by 26secs which is like utterly horrible and totally unacceptable for a national athlete! plus, i had a heavy breakfast and i actually throwed up right after the trial. i know, yucky mucky me!! but i felt really terrible and sick. eugh. imagine the pain i went tru. my coach dint give a damn about my vomit or how shitty mitty yucky mucky i felt. he was just diassapointed cuz i deproved by a lot. thanks, man. he's de best. oh and misery doesnt end there. immediately right after the trial we had to row for like 8km. as usual i was last to take off from the pontoon and last to come back. last to wash my boat and last to do my recovery stretchings. sigh. i feel so...ergh. nevermind.
and i went home feeling bloody exhausted. seriously, i was feeling like lousy mousy like that and all i could do was sleep. and i wanted to sleep for 15 minutes but no, i slept for like a few hours. then i forced myself to wake up to do some homework. which i succcessfully did. yay for aisyah. =)
on sunday, there was morning training again. we're supposed to complete a 14km programme. i was last (as usual) and coach followed me on his motor boat. he told me to like lift up my wrist at the catch position but the water was bad and there were crosswinds and my boat was unstable. he got so dissapointed at me he started shouting! i wanted to tell him its not easy to balance and lift up my wrist and i just learned to row a singles boat and it takes time for me to learn and im not really a fast learner and im feeling tired but i wanna do it but u have to give me some time and patience but no, ure shouting at me and i feel hurt when u say mean things and i know my ex rowng partner is doing well cuz she has been rowing singles before she rowed with me and she has no school to think about and im having my a levels this year and u dont understand shit and all u care about is rowing but i have a life and i want a life! but i didnt say anything. i almost cried when the blister on my right palm like totally burst. but i tried not to think about it. i was so angry i dint want to cry. i just wanted to row the 14km and go home.
went home felt shagged but i forced myself not to sleep. managed to finish a few assignments. and thats it, i guess. louasy mousy weekend aye?
mummy will be back tomorrow. yay.
and kumar told me that i have to move on and im trying to move on and it takes time to move on and its not that easy cuz...i still love him. ergh im so stupid.
oh well, hope the rest of my monday will be fine. im looking forward to pe. and dikir after school.
love, panda-isyah.

sadness.

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child. (nahhh...not me.)
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

sigh. been feeling really miserable these days. i need a kick on my ass..and please stop playing goodbye my lover by james blunt. its killing me. argh.