Okay right now im going through this oh-fuck-whatever-decision-i-make-now-will-SERIOUSLY-change-my-life phase. very exciting i tell you.
oh results day was even more interesting. it was one of the very few days i dont have to row. (cue: applause) so i thought i could happily wake up in the late morning instead of 5am like i do every single day. then at 9.45am a teacher from acjc called me while i was happily sleeping. and she told me to be in school before 10.30am. cuz the BH wanted to interview me. i know, so exciting lah please. but to reach school b4 10.30 is mengarut la. i was like ARE YOU SERIOUS? 10.30? okay so on that day aisyah tak mandi pagi okay. haha. ive NEVER rushed like mad like i did on that day before. to brush my teeth, pee, wash my face, iron my clothes and brush my hair in place in less than 45 mins would seem impossible for me. and yes, youre right. it is impossible. i ran out of my house at 10.30am. frantically flagging for cabs with taxi drivers who cant seem to comprehend the panic look on my face. annoying to the max. took a bus to marsiling mrt. the taxi queue was like purposefully bloody long but i joined it anyway. so i reached school at 11am. hurrah. i called hazi on the cab cuz i was worried the interview would be conducted in malay so she was teaching me some malay words! hahaha. funny or wat. but thank god the interviewer was speaking in english. yah so i reached school and the teacher was briefing me on some questions the interviewer might ask. read: school reputation. okay so when it was my turn i saw haryati in the interview room. we know our results already which kinda spoilt the excitement. haha. when the teacher showed my results i was like, "then..why he want to interview me?" hahaha. seriously. its not worthy of any kind of interview, please. but okay so lets like look on the bright side here okay. they want to interview me then so be it lah. hahaha. okay so haryati is AC's top malay scorer and im so so proud of her. sporty, gorgeous, intelligent. what more could u ask for? anyhoo. they took stupid ugly pictures of me. and thats about it.
okay so i shall say the newspaper article featuring haryati and one tenth of it, me. i thought it was kind of a public humiliation. seriously. my results are nothing to be proud of or to showcase to the whole of the malay community. and so so so many of my friends got much better grades. but okay so they already put my face there and like 2 paragraphs about me so i cant do anything about that. and at least lah say something like, despite her busy rowing trainings her results are like superb for a national athlete but NO, nothing like that at all. they simply said i was haryati's friend and schoolmate, i scored this, i did that and ya. thats it. now everyone knows how badly ive done. but okay, lets ALWAYS look on the bright side okay. okay yes. they wont interview me for nothing right. at least write there lah, "proves that u can excel in both sports and acads." seriously. public humiliation is all i can think. but okay. think positive. optimistic. ok. OK. i said OKAY already.
wah fierce or wat.

the worst part of the day was watching people after people walking up the stage knowing they got 3 distinctions or more. what made it worse was already knowing beforehand that u wouldnt be the one going on stage. or should that be a good thing? i dont know. but sitting there watching your friends sitting next to you go on stage, leaving empty spaces next to you isnt a good feeling. and hello, samuel beh, my twin brother (same birthday but i guess im the more stupider twin), was top arts student. im so so proud of him.
for those who didnt do too well, ive always lived by this quote:

"IF you fall down you've only got 2 choices; stay down or get up."

theres a first time for everything like theres a first time for me not to see any distiction at all in my results. first time i cried cuz i thought i did badly. yes i did cry, cried like SHIT, but okay, they say the As is just a ticket to the uni. yeah. i know, saying is easy. but please, lets sing it! always look on the bright side of life. (whistle)
okay, so im a pantat. i know.
now comes the phase i hate most cuz it requires so much thinking and decision making and ive never done this shit for so long. haha. which uni. what course. which scholarship. piles of applications. litany of things to do. sigh.
and tmr im doing a 3 days 2 nights camp with hazi (finally) and on thursday im leaving for china. i know. damn random. china. hah. tell me about it. i'll be back on the 13th and prolly leaving for thailand on the 15th until like april? i guess. dont know yet. sigh. so that means i must get everything done, scholarship applications and all by ummm, today?

this whole week's gonna be crazy and dead tiring.

oh china, here i come.

sigh.

and we go, "always look on the bright side of life (whistle)" wee.